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Use this forum to discuss neurodiverse parenting.

Sad/conflicted about how my ND affects my work

2 replies

TheWayTheLightFalls · 23/11/2023 12:51

After feeling for most of my life like I was wired differently from most people I sought out psychiatric assessment earlier this year (privately, through DH's work insurance, but with someone very reputable). I thought I had ADHD, the psychiatrist reckons both ADHD and ASD ("what would have been called Asperger's"). I'm waiting on some further very in-depth assessment but the initial assessment is as above. And tbh it chimes with my own sense of myself / the things I find difficult.

I need to mention upfront that I am very lucky with where my work has ended up: I burnt out of my first career but have ended up starting a small charity which makes a lot of impact - hundreds of people a week. Other than me (salaried) we have a lot of volunteers - so apparently (to my surprise) people like working with me and come back again and again. I am always told that I'm organised, that I lead things and people well and so on. And I have full autonomy, which is important to me. The psychiatrist pointed out, and I suspect she's right, that I've just taught myself over the years how to behave with people, how to demonstrate interest and so on. And work is part time, so I'm not always "on".

But - I feel sad that I can't function in a "normal" workplace. I have no tolerance for other people's noises - eating, chairs moving etc. I find meetings very difficult - who speaks when, keeping to the topic rather than launching off about another idea and so on. I also really don't do well depending on other people / having to deal with other people's mistakes or bullshit. I can lead people, but working with them as colleagues is very challenging. I also never fitted in socially anywhere that I worked, despite trying to.

My work now is what it is. I don't find it challenging, and while I enjoy it I am also bored. I am really frustrated that I don't know where to go with the skills I have, some of which should make me an excellent employee (I'm very hard working, loyal etc) but which are counteracted or dragged down by my shortcomings. I'm hoping I get a bolt of inspiration for some sort of next step, but with conventional employment out the window it feels quite difficult.

Not sure what I'm asking really but happy to get it down in writing at least.

OP posts:
MistyTrains2 · 27/11/2023 02:34

There are quite a lot of adjustments available for ADHD in the workplace.

Percie · 08/12/2023 03:21

I've found the move to WFH has finally allowed me to settle and thrive, which I certainly wasn't doing before. Access to Work is also very good, I'm about to begin coaching sessions to come up with workplace strategies for office days (monthly) and a colleague has applied to them for a PA to help with some of the admin tasks they most struggle with so they can focus on the parts of the job where their skills are most valuable.

It might be worth investigating employers who are supportive of ND colleagues - do they have roles which will give you the challenge you're looking for? My sector is a bit of a mixed bag, but there are some great employers out there who really try to help you succeed.

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