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Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

Use this forum to discuss neurodiverse parenting.

ND family, teenage ASD son no friends at all

4 replies

Gem2006 · 08/10/2023 03:22

My son got a diagnosis age 15, he’s now 16. Managed to get him through GCSEs somehow and he’s in sixth form doing A levels which is great for structure but he’s got absolutely no friends at all. I worry so much. These are critical years and I don’t know how to help him.
he had friends growing up but after lockdown he withdrew from everyone.
he is lonely and would like friends but only on his terms and his standards are so high I don’t think he’ll ever find people that he wants to spend time with.
if he was genuinely happy I think I wouldn’t worry so much but he seems very anxious and depressed to me.
he’s had some specialist counselling for anxiety but it didn’t make any difference. He has beta blockers for anxiety but he doesn’t like to take them. School are supportive but if he doesn’t want to accept help there’s not much they can do.
we’ve spent time with our friends who have kids his age that he really likes but he won’t speak to anyone anymore.
I’m second guessing my parenting constantly. Is it my fault? What could I do differently?
He’s now falling out with his dad (also ASD) and I don’t know where to turn.
I’m not diagnosed but think I’m ASD and feel so emotionally burnt out.
My fears are that after sixth form he retreats to his bedroom and never comes out. He spends all his time at home in his room unless I plan a day trip but then he’s straight back in his room.
anyone similar out there? Any tips?

OP posts:
QuickFetchTheCoffee · 08/10/2023 08:25

Can you talk to the college inclusions team about getting him to join some extra curricular groups that might suit him?
There are usually free periods where he could do things like this but he may need support at first.

Gem2006 · 08/10/2023 10:23

It’s a great idea and the school would be supportive of this but the problem is that my son refuses point blank to try anything like this.

OP posts:
BloominFlower · 10/10/2023 11:25

Does he have any specific interests that you could share with him?

Gem2006 · 10/10/2023 17:32

Hi, thank you for your reply, yes he does and we spend time together doing things he enjoys, (then it’s straight back in his room) it’s more that he’s very aware he’s hanging out with his mum rather than his peers and I don’t know how to help him progress that side of things

OP posts:
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