I feel fundamentally unsafe in the world

[McGwyverfan80]

I was only diagnosed this year (aged 41) but all my life have really struggled with what I thought was "just" anxiety. I think for years I was able to mask reasonably well, but the past few years and even more so since covid, have just come crashing down around me.

I have a history of trauma and it has got to the point where I don't feel safe around anyone anymore. My last relationship almost completely destroyed me and I'm still dealing with the aftermath of that. I've tried to put myself out there time and again, but find I'm just unable to connect with people because I'm too anxious. It's almost like my body is in a constant state of fight or flight and I can't relax. I feel like an utter failure at life and just don't know what to do anymore. Anyone found anything that has helped you in regards to trauma?

Living on my own. When I'm at home, doors locked, and Dcat asking for cuddles, the rest of the world can FOTTOSOFATFOSM.

Anyone found anything that has helped you in regards to trauma?

I found EMDR really helpful.

What is EMDR? | Types of therapy (bacp.co.uk)

It sounds like burn out after years of masking and dealing with trauma. You have to allow yourself time, you can't get over years of trauma quickly it could take years to get over it. That's not meant to be a negative it's meant to mean you need to allow yourself time as it is gradual.

Not a fan of CBT but some people like it but I would make sure their Autism aware.

I've done talking therapy in the past which helped.

I'm currently trying meditation as my anxiety has also gone up recently. I just focus on my breathing and then when my mind wanders I focus back on my breathing. I do find it calming. I find things that are repetitive can help calm me, I crochet for example plus it keeps my ADHD hands busy.

I feel you, I've experienced abuse in the past and I know it's hard to move on but it does get better. But I think it's a continuous journey not something that as an end as such.

Also maybe try to find some local adult Autism groups. There's art groups, drama groups, sports groups etc near me. I honestly find I can't connect to NT people but I find speaking to other ND people a lot easier.

Brain spotting
Tapping
EMDR

Sound bath with an ocean drum