Adhd/meds/peri/hrt Going around in circles.

[BrassicaBabe]

Bare with me. I need to offload. This likely won't make any sense. I don't even think I have a question!

I'm 50. Adhd diagnosed. Take 70mg Elvanse. I was prescribed amfexa 5mg. Didn't feel it made any difference so don't bother with it.
I'm on hrt and have been for a couple of years. The dose has changed in those years.
I weight lift and run. I need to eat well and stay hydrated to do what I need to do and want to do.
I try to eat breakfast and lunch. I'm doing better at it. But not perfect. As a minimum I mange bananas. Some days rather better.
I just get busy and don't get round to it.
My energy crashes. Through the fecking floor around 3pm. I'm useless for much of the day after this. Only getting the bare minimum done.
I want to get my runs in, but of course I procrastinate. If that procrastination reaches 3pm. I'm fecked. I've failed. Then I feel worse about myself.
It's not fair that my window for productivity is about 10-2.30. 10-2.30 on a Tuesday if I'm honest!!

Tired etc. maybe I eating/drinking would help. Sounds easy eh?!!
Running would help via the fresh air and dopamine etc. And I enjoy it. But I often can't get my arse out of the house!
I ask myself how much is adhd, how much is it peri menopause, how does Elvanse help or not help, how much does hrt help and is it the right dose.

I've recently mostly given up alcohol. Not tee total but I've had wine 3 times in the last 26 days as opposed to 26 times!! I'm sleeping better. Seem to be more dehydrated though.

Everyone treats or has an opinion on their specialty (adhd/hrt) including running coach!! But no one is able to help by seeing me as an entire being!!! My lovely running coach understands IN NO WAY AT ALL what adhd is, how it makes life challenging. That I'm not just being lazy by skipping a run. Simply laying out my running gear the night before is NEVER going to work for my brain. This week I've spent THREE WHOLE DAYS DRESSED FOR A RUN WITHOUT LEAVING THE HOUSE.

Oh and I now think I've likely over eaten because I'm tired and hungry.
I'd murder for a glass of wine. But I'm expecting to resist.

I sympathise. I'm 53, ADHD (unmedicated - waiting to start titration), peri (been on HRT for 10 months), long Covid (chronic fatigue & cognitive issues).

I'm a lifelong exercise/gym person but since long Covid started 2 years, and peri kicked in (apparently making my ADHD even worse), I'm struggling hugely.

I do weights 3 times a week and cycle/bike erg/row (can't run due to injuries). Despite being an owl and hating mornings, I find the only way to get anything done is to do it in the bloody morning. If not, the procrastination starts from 1pm and then the day is OVER and I hate myself and promise it'll be different tomorrow and so the cycle continues.

In addition to doing anything that really matters to me in the morning, I also make a commitment to meet someone at the gym or book a session with a coach/PT as that way I either let someone down (which I would never do) or it costs me money that I can't afford to lose. This combination works for me. Even if at times it has meant getting up at 4.30am (!) to exercise before work. I have a very good coffee machine at home which helps get me out of the house. I'm literally up, probiotic drink, shower, espresso, off to gym....I'm still half asleep when I get there but by the end of my weights session, the endorphins have kicked in (and there's more caffeine in my water bottle at the gym) and then I do some work on the bike or rower as I usually have some motivation by this point. The buzz keeps me going at work during the morning before I lose interest in almost everything from 1pm. Basically, I 'summit early' or nothing gets done that day.

Bless you. It's nice to hear another voice.

Too much to do and I'm overwhelmed and "fast spinning motor".
Too little to do and I'm bored, low mood and get nothing at all done.
Between those two and I'm fecking awesome!!!

I'm good re weights as I have a PT appointment. Running is much more chaotic as it's under my own m steam. Supposed to run 3 times a week. Left this week's til Friday because I'm the queen of procrastination. That meant k needed to run 3 days on the bounce. A terrible idea. Today I'm just so DOG TIRED. So I missed today. I hope to make it out tomorrow. But I've failed on the week. And let's be real, 3 times a week is definitely achievable! I feel crap that I sabotage b my own goals.

Oh, but I sat up until 1am on Thursday hyper focused on a work spreadsheet that DEFINITELY could have waited. But once I started I couldn't put it down until it was done.

If only I could eat/drink my energy would be more stable?
Ha! To the daft ideas of alarms etc. I just ignore them while I "just finish this job, email" etc.

Adhd gets in the way of things I care about and want to achieve. It's a fecking disaster for things that I don't want to do!!

I don't know if the tiredness is adhd meds crash or peri related.

Oh @BrassicaBabe you sound so like me!! I feel for you. It's so frustrating! I suspect it's a combination of ADHD and peri as the hormonal changes make the ADHD worse apparently so our usual masking / coping methods aren't enough.

I'm shattered. All the time. Apart from now as it's almost bedtime so I'm obviously wide awake and suddenly fascinated by a film that just started (despite usually being bored by films after a few mins). And wondering if I should cook a quiche to eat. And basically behaving like it's only 6pm. 😂

I'm also full of good ideas about what I'll do tomorrow (but I know they won't happen as I'll feel tired tomorrow lol).

Could you maybe find a friend to run with so that might help minimise the procrastination? It works for a ADHD friend of mine.

I suspect your desire to eat / drink is dopamine hunting. It gets worse in the evenings as we're so depleted by then. I use an app called Impulse Brain Training that is basically silly little games (to help memory, attention, problem solving etc) that was recommended to me for ADHD. It gives a dopamine boost. Bit geeky but I can dip in and out as I need to and at least it doesn't contain any calories. 😝

Hearing you loud and clear! I've asked to bring forward my meds review as I think mine need increasing. I've upped my hrt gel and it's helped a bit, but not enough.

I have had a moment of clarity. But I'm kicking myself.

If I look back over my week I can see from Tuesday onwards my week got more and more crazy busy. Including 2 nights where I didn't get to bed until 1am. I skipped meals etc,,hyper focused on stuff that could have waited etc.

So what's going on now is a complete overwhelm crash. (Today I got up at 7. But fell back asleep on the sofa with the comfort blanket of white noise TV). I had work stuff to do 1030 til about 1230. But I'm now back in bed. For now I'm just "isolating" with Netflix.

Ok. At least this is an answer. But I'm cross because I'm my own worst enemy. I've pretty much done this to myself this week. I can't spend Sunday with family because I now don't have the energy in me. I failed with my goals for running this week because procrastination then overwhelm got in the way.

More and more I feel that ADHD is hugely dis-ableing to my life and happiness. I could almost have done with a carer this week. Someone to make me eat. Someone to make me shut the laptop lid etc etc.

Today I feel lonely in my weaknesses. My lovely DH makes allowances but he doesn't really GET it. And he's not around in the day time when an "intervention" would be helpful!

How unhelpful is it to admit that I read your op with a touch of jealousy because you sometimes manage to run and do weights!

I’ve been trying to get myself to organise some sessions with an adhd coach because I need someone who a) understands (your example of wearing running clothes for 3 days without managing to run spoke to me), b) I can be honest with (if I can unmask), and c) might be able to take an overview.

But …. I have adhd and peri so the chances of being able to get all those ducks in a row is millions to one.

Something that has helped me a lot is sitting down once a week and filling out my weeks schedule. It’s far more complicated than it sounds (there’s 20 steps) because I have to check emails, all the folders, my photo reel for notes and leaflets I snapped, my what’s app for arrangements I made, the kids schedules, my standing appointments (that I won’t remember despite them being the same for 5 years).

My last step is to go through and add in prep/commute time and recovery cushions too if I’m going to be wiped out by something.

It’s making me a lot more time conscious and I don’t overschedule myself anything like as much.

Without it, I have to rely on my elemental time bending super powers and that really takes a toll😂

It’s all new to me as I’ve just been diagnosed, but I have read about people having fast acting meds as a top up if they need it in the afternoon. So maybe a meds review.

I do a lot of exercise in the evening and have to sign up for a class, buddy up or pair it with something to give me a dopamine hit. I do weights while watching my favourite T.V. show. Or I just can’t bring myself to do it.

I also have found a sport that love (bouldering).

I couldn’t run as I find it boring, but bouldering is great as well as a workout for the body it is a workout for the mind. Every time you go there is something different to do - a new puzzle. So hello dopamine!