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Original poster

Support groups?

8 replies

Mummybearsporridge · 31/08/2023 10:49

Please forgive me if this is a bit waffley, I'm struggling a bit at the moment and not finding it easy to explain what I mean.
I'm a 39 year old mum of 2, I've had an ADHD diagnosis for over a year and have received an ASD diagnosis in the last couple of weeks. I've been treated for mental health issues (depression and anxiety) since my teens and have under the community mental health team for the last 8 months. I informed the team of my ASD diagnosis and it appeared to me that instantly they decided there was nothing they could help me with as my problems are all due to my neurodivergence. I mean I think they're partly right as I've had so many misdiagnoses and incorrect advice given over the years, including ending up being sectioned. But I do still need some help. I was told to find some local groups so I could find 'people like me'. This is something I would like to do but having difficulty finding anything that seems suitable. There are groups for carers and for neurodivergent people who need more daily support but as someone who masks heavily, has held down a job and doesn't need a carer I'm struggling to find "people like me". I'm not intending to be rude about anyone by saying that, but obviously our experiences of being neurodivergent are very different. Has anyone found anything helpful? In real life or any online community? I feel very alone Sad

OP posts:
TamanTun · 31/08/2023 13:58

Check out groups on Meetup, I go to one in my nearest city for ASD folks, also the National Autistic society has an online forum. Facebook groups are great too

Sugarcoatt · 01/09/2023 09:14

I have the same problem. I’m autistic. I also have two degrees, a job, a husband and kids, and I’m a published author. It doesn’t help me to attend a group for people with learning disabilities or low intelligence, or people who are mentally impaired and need a carer, who can’t live independently, etc. We are not the same. But all of the groups seem to be catered towards this sort of impairment.

I’ve had a similar experience with the NHS mental health team too. First they wanted to treat me as if I had normal anxiety or depression. They insisted I had to do positive thinking sessions. I pointed out that positive thinking won’t help with autism - because it’s not about negative thinking, I have a genuine medical condition and the way people treat me is real, my struggles are real, I can’t “positive think” my way out of autism. So then they decided they couldn’t help me. I’m on a waiting list for counselling to talk through my problems, but they aren’t confident about being able to help me.

I don’t know where to turn for help. There is no support for adults with autism and normal intelligence. Sorry I know that’s not very helpful.

Original poster
Mummybearsporridge · 01/09/2023 12:35

Thank you, I've downloaded Meetup and had a look. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be much close to me but I may try an online group.

Happy to chat with anyone who's in a similar situation. It does help slightly knowing I'm not the only one frustrated Confused

OP posts:
CupOfAnxieTea · 01/09/2023 21:22

Hi, I am feeling quite alone and not sure where to find 'my people' also.

I am a teacher and mum of two - I am on the waiting list for an Autism and ADHD assessment but I am absolutely sure I have both. I feel a bit like in stuck in limbo at the moment and not sure how to seek support. I have been in and out of therapy most of my adult life and nothing has ever stuck - now I understand why. Also, not sure if this makes sense but since discovering I have Autism - I feel like I am becoming even more autistic as I have become so aware of all the things that I struggle with. I am finding it a lot harder to mask because it is just so exhausting. I also feel like I chose a job which I probably wouldn't have if I had known about my brain. I love it but it takes a lot out of me.

Anyway I'm waffling and not being helpful - but I wanted to say hi and always happy to chat. Would be nice to know people who can relate.

Original poster
Mummybearsporridge · 02/09/2023 13:36

I can absolutely relate! I don't know if the feeling more autistic thing is because our reactions to things are making more sense maybe? I have also noticed this, especially since taking ADHD medication. I also think some things I no longer try to masks because if makes sense why I'm doing them or feeling a certain way. Could we start a group WhatsApp maybe? I'm happy to sort out if anyone wants to join. Can DM me anytime x

OP posts:
BaroldandNedmund · 04/09/2023 23:49

Sugarcoatt · 01/09/2023 09:14

I have the same problem. I’m autistic. I also have two degrees, a job, a husband and kids, and I’m a published author. It doesn’t help me to attend a group for people with learning disabilities or low intelligence, or people who are mentally impaired and need a carer, who can’t live independently, etc. We are not the same. But all of the groups seem to be catered towards this sort of impairment.

I’ve had a similar experience with the NHS mental health team too. First they wanted to treat me as if I had normal anxiety or depression. They insisted I had to do positive thinking sessions. I pointed out that positive thinking won’t help with autism - because it’s not about negative thinking, I have a genuine medical condition and the way people treat me is real, my struggles are real, I can’t “positive think” my way out of autism. So then they decided they couldn’t help me. I’m on a waiting list for counselling to talk through my problems, but they aren’t confident about being able to help me.

I don’t know where to turn for help. There is no support for adults with autism and normal intelligence. Sorry I know that’s not very helpful.

This is so depressingly true. So many of us find this. I think some of us turn up to groups once and never go back so we rarely meet each other.

SerPants · 06/09/2023 19:13

Whereabouts do you live? If you give a rough area someone might know of local support groups.

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