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Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

Use this forum to discuss neurodiverse parenting.

Am I autistic: Volume 538

2 replies

Sillymummies123 · 16/08/2023 11:47

Tongue in cheek title, but my sons diagnosis forced me to look inward, whilst I was an adult self-medicating with alcohol and SSRIs, at my childhood, social interactions, eating habits, adult anxiety, odd mindset and views on different aspects of life that others don't seem to have, and consider quite seriously that I'm autistic. I can't convince myself to speak to a GP yet because I think they'll think I'm being silly or looking for attention, but perhaps eventually I will.

Anyway- today's question: I have serious, serious, paralysing difficulty keeping commitments and always have. I won't go into the millions of examples from my life, but I start a side job tomorrow as a bank care assistant alongside my degree. I chose bank because I could have no shifts at all should I choose to. However, part of the induction is a compulsory 2 shadow shifts of 12 hours each, which are tomorrow and friday.

I am just utterly paralysed about going. My brain goes: I'm a bit worried about going, I don't want to give up my time to go, I don't want to go tomorrow, I could go at a later date, but if I call them they'll be angry, but I don't want to, but I have to, and so on and on... until I just feel utterly that I CANT go, because I don't want to.

Logically, I feel that I'd feel fine once I get there, but that doesn't overpower the strong paralysis about going. I will suffer and panic and feel utter dread until I walk out the door out of fear of the consequences of not going, and then be fine, but I just feel right now that I can't go.

To be honest, even if I arrange social events, in the build up these feelings take hold and I almost always want to cancel. Often I do cancel (though funnily enough, once I've cancelled I often then decide last minute to go). I actually called in sick for the training last week, then caller false alarm on the morning and went in.

The only caveat is when I am going away with either my beet friend or my OH. I suppose I feel socially in control?

Is this common for autism, or everyon3z or some of ND?

If so, does anyone have any strategies to help me overcome these. I've tried to overcome it, but my mindset is incredibly fixed in these situations and I seem very very resistant to any logic of advice so my hopes are not high anyway.

OP posts:
Piranhaha · 16/08/2023 21:06

I find it helps to write down what I think is the worst that can happen. Then write down positive alternatives. For example I really don’t want to go to a party because I think people will ignore me and I’ll end up leaving early. But maybe I’ll meet someone who shares my interests and have a nice conversation, and maybe I’ll enjoy myself, and maybe everyone will be lovely. It helps to put things in perspective, to pin down what you’re actually scared of and make you realise that you’re catastrophising and panicking over something that isn’t real and might not even happen.

Anothershitusername · 30/08/2023 19:01

I understand
my son wants to see the Meg at the cinema
trying to book a time around all the children back in school ,because he won’t go out when there’s children about ,and trying to fit it in with his education and go when it’s quiet ,Monday morning was all I came up with
and I started feeling really overwhelmed and panicking and I was on the web site for cinema and I couldn’t book it ,because I knew all this week and all next weekend I’d be stressing and anxious about going .even though I do want to see it ..it’s about one of the only films I can manage to sit through,sharks or dinosaurs..

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