How to tell my DD she may be autistic

[ladygindiva]

Hi all. My 6 yo DD is on the waitlist for autism diagnosis assessment and I feel now is the time to explain to her what autism is and that it is likely she ( and I , but that's a whole other story) has it. She's a hugely intelligent perceptive child, and is starting to mention that she feels different to others, and notice that she struggles with things ( toileting, food, new experiences , loud environments amongst them) that others do not. So I feel I need to have a chat about autism and how it may be affecting her as it may hopefully explain some of her worries. Does anyone please have any thoughts or ideas of resources and materials that would help make this a positive conversation as I feel a bit lost and at sea about it. Thankyou.

Bumping to see if that gets me a response , hope that's allowed

Why talk to her about something she might not have? It’s a lot to take in and it might be totally unnecessary. Honestly I would just wait until she gets a diagnosis.

I’d come from the angle of her feeling different to others as that’s what I did with ds (already diagnosed) at about 6. In summary I said that the reason he feels different is because some peoples brains think in a special way and that can be good for them in some ways but it can also make them feel ‘different’. Im ND so I told him that he was like me but if you aren’t ND you could maybe find someone else who’s autistic that your dd likes/looks up to?

She's asking why she struggles with certain things. Also, when we get called for the assessment appointment she will wonder what the hell is going on, surely. Also in day to day life I have to explain certain things for instance at her dental appointment last week I had to talk to the dentist about why she has trouble lying back in the chair and having her teeth examined. I also believe she needs to hear the truth, as she's beginning to think she's " weird" or " wrong" or lesser somehow. She sees the differences. I definitely need to be honest with her.

This is very useful thankyou. And yes, I believe I am also ND , undiagnosed. I had the very same issues as a child in the 80s but no-one considered autism. I just thought I was crap and went on to go off the rails , school refuse, and self harm for quite a few years, failed at school etc. I had a terrible childhood/ adolescence because of this and want to avoid this happening to her at all costs. Thankyou, your post backs up how I was thinking of approaching this.

Maybe a useful book my 8-9yr liked reading it
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Secret-Life-Rose-Inside-Autistic/dp/B08WS2VQYB

Thankyou x