I was diagnosed with ADHD this week and I don't know what I do next?

[headcheffer]

I was diagnosed with ADHD this week (I'm 36) and I don't what I do next. I know I can start meds in a few months (waiting list), but I don't mean that really. I mean... what do I do with this information about myself now I have it? I feel I've been diagnosed and then there's nothing in place afterwards. Am I supposed to seek therapy or something to help me understand myself better? And the impact such a late diagnosis has had on me? Do I tell work? And if so, how do I answer the "so what" question? I was waiting such a long time for the diagnosis and now I don't really know where I go from here.

Does anyone have any tips? Or did anyone else feel like this after they got their diagnosis?

Hello @headcheffer I'm going through something similar. I can only share what I'm doing and maybe give the post a bump.

I'm 41 and got diagnosed 6 weeks ago. The first few weeks I was in a daze and didn't really think about it.

But my situation was unfortunate because shortly after I went through a few very stressful events all together. Stress makes adhd much worse.

In the end I took sick leave because I can and the company are supportive. Without as much pressure I've started to become more self aware. I started writing post it notes up accounting for my day. The amount of time I spend looking for my phone, wandering around the house forgetting what I was doing, sat on the toilet to anxious to pee and then remembering 10min later to finish up and get on, not eating then binging in the evening, the alternation from hyper focus to distracted to distressed to hyper focus again. I've never had space to track and understand it before and that helps.

Other things I'm doing

• testing meds
• I've bought some books on Amazon, one is a workbook and more information.
• I've found some companies that do specific coaching/therapy for ppl with adhd because as you say the meds is only part of a holistic approach
• reading all the blogs on here and elsewhere.
• speaking to other people With adhd to hear their experience.

A few people, myself included, found that at some point after diagnosis the symptoms seem to get worse. I think of it like this: I've masked my whole life and tried to appear normal. Then you find out why. You review your past though a diff lens and feel grief, joy, relief, rage, etc. and then I got to a point where I was like "sod it I'm not masking anymore" and now I'm letting it all hang out - my adhd on full show. It's different for everyone but it's a journey and the more self aware you become and the more you learn the more you are supposedly able to settle into a new normal.

Following this thread with interest hoping you get some more good answers...

It's felt uncomfortable if I'm honest. I currently feel like everything is "out of control" and I don't like it. But I'm positive things will settle down.

It's an opportunity to get to grips with your type of adhd and find techniques and tricks to manage your day while reaching your goals. That's the point of it after all, how to overcome this obstacle so you can grow from it and find how it's also a superpower and not only something that holds you back

Thank you for your response @absentseizure I really appreciate hearing your experience. I think I'm going to spend the next couple of weeks reading more about it, and thinking about if I need to tell work etc!

I told work, but mostly because I first only told HR, who shared HR policies and how they are obliged to support. I only told my line manager because he's a good egg. But judge it based on their merits. I had a line manager once who was awful and everything I said could and would be used against me. She wouldn't do anything obvious I could prove, but it was pass ag bullying all the way.

But if you trust the manager/hr policies then I think it's good to because you are entitled to support.

My only pointer would be the "so what?" Test. What can they do for you or what do you specifically need as a result. If an employee disclosed something to me I'd want to get it right for them and help them but would want to know if it's time off, adjustments to working patterns/ or just a casual fyi just incase. That will help them find out the right kind of stuff.

I think I didn't give myself enough headspace at first to process. So if you can take some time to immerse yourself in it and process, for me that would have prevented me burning out later. And the point of that immersion would be to learn and adapt to make your life better for you (before anyone cries out that you'd over identify with adhd and not be able to see passed it).

The thing I'm finding hardest now is swinging between the positive and the negative. One moment I'm laughing at myself, and seeing the benefits of it: im quick witted, out of box thinker, able to move mountains when I hyper focus. The next moment im terrified at the potential magnitude of living with this "disability" worrying if I am an unfit mother, if my husband will leave me because he is sometimes my carer, and fretting that I'll be shipped off to live in sheltered housing.

I look forward to it settling down so I can find the balanced shades of grey in between, get back to work, and hopefully be far more successful in my endeavours with this insight.

And by the way, a good leader should be a shield, a big ally and nurture your unique talents. That's the benchmark so don't accept or internalise it if they are shit. Everyone is entitled to a level playing field no matter who you are or what your situation is.

Following with interest as awaiting referral for ADHD or possible bipolar 2.
I think I will be quite angry if I do indeed have it as I suffered a huge amount with anxiety and depression since I was 20.
I'm 56 now.