Good responses to "you're stupid/ weird/ mad"?

[JigsawsAtTheBeach]

All my life people have told me that I'm stupid, weird, and/ of mad (their choice of adjectives not mine).

In my younger days, I used to just argue that I wasn't, but it didn't do me any good.

Does anyone have any good comebacks to this statement?!? The funnier, the better.

For context, I have autism and ADHD

I'm awaiting the same diagnosis.
I agree with people when they say I'm weird.
They love to be right and it ends the debate.😁

I was once having a wobble about being weird cos I had a moment in gym where I was nearly full on meltdown (this is years ago)
I remember I say to my coach “I hate being weird in public”

he say to me “all the best peoples are weird”

that one has stayed with me I like it 🙂

I also share your diagnoses (but with PDA profile, so I also get stubborn/obstinate too...). If people say I am mad or weird I just own it and always have tbh - I like being mad and weird. I wouldn't like being called stupid though - I am intelligent but can come across as scatty/dizzy and hyper, because of the ADHD (quite a strong H for me), people are often surprised by how clever I am (remember once on a team building day someone insisting my maths couldn't be right because I'd done it very quickly and obviously I wasn't that bright - I WAS right though and so THEY looked stupid). I don't think there is much point arguing, you just have to quietly prove them wrong.

It depends how I feel.

Sometimes I say nothing and stare. It's quite powerful because they are supervised. Sometimes I just laugh. Sometimes I'll go with it and agree "yep. I'm mad. Any more observations? Sometimes I'll totally mess with their minds and start twitching and say "I don't know what you mean". Sometimes I'll say "I beg your pardon?" And it buys them a moment to think, am I going to say that again? Is that wise. Or go with a swift "no shit Sherlock".

But ultimately I've got to the point now where all my favourite people are neurodiverse anyway (except my silly neurotypical DH) and that sense of belonging and conspiracy and connection between us, that we understand each other, boosts my confidence to not care. And people like me because I am eccentric and odd and because I am so consistently odd they get used to me.

I work in a senior role in a multi national firm and my team fully accept that I'm a bit of a loose cannon and they mostly enjoy sitting back and laughing at my rants or strange (LOGICAL, RATIONAL and EFFICIENT) decision makings. Because they know I'm kind, fair and consistent, they know where they stand because I'm honest.

Neurotypical people seem weird and mad to me. My husband is capable of answering the same question totally differently depending on his mood. I find it fascinating. Whereas for me I'm consistent. I have moods of course but I prefer facts and stick with them as much as possible.

And as a final comment now that the medical professionals have worked out about masking and differences in sex and how they present etc, the diagnosis of ADHD/ASD is increasing. At what point does neurodiverse make up 50% or more of the population? And if it's so common at some point people will have to get over themselves and quit trying to shame people for being different. Xxxxx

My previous post is full of typos and autocorrects. I'm sorry if it's confusing.

I've also reflected and thought that everyone is different and I use humour as a coping mechanism. And I never started out to be funny, I just told the truth and people laugh.

But then that might for work for you. I don't know enough about the specifics of all different neurodivergence.

However what I can say is that honesty is powerful. There's never been a better time to be alive for diversity. Of course there are still cruel people out there but, there is more awareness than ever before.

You could just pause, and look them in the eyes and calmly say "I have autism". Not too much info, just enough to let them know the facts. I saw a shop assistant say this to a moody customer recently in Superdrug. It left them with nothing to say except move on. But what makes it great is that if they choose to continue trying to put you down after they know; then they are just an awful person and you must avoid them, or report them to HR if it's a colleague.

But what works in one scenario might not help you either. Maybe you could give examples of when it happened recently and we can think through the best responses?

It makes a big difference if this happens at work or not? Because at work you should be protected from that kind of shit.

I'd probably try bewilder them a bit. Depends on the mood I guess. Ideally, I'd want an uncomfortable look in return.. That would feel like they realise they're just being unpleasant.

"Oh, we're exchanging insults? Great, my turn 😁"

"do you feel better about yourself now that you've got that off your chest?"

"uhhhh.. Thanks?"

"ok, moving on"

"where did that come from?"

"got your bitchy (or whatever word) head on today?"

"why did you feel the need to team me that? It's quite rude". Then turn away and start doing something else.

I find that “Fuck you” and a middle finger works as a response for pretty much any rude comment.

Oh wow I didn’t even realise this board existed 😁

I don’t really take “weird” as an insult anymore. It just means different but in a less sensitive way. I guess I can’t complain because I am quite blunt too.

Eyebrows raised - ‘Ouch!’

😮 wow . People underestimate you .

When people call me weird I just say yeah it could be worse I could be like you . Or yeah at least I'm not you . And laugh . That usually shuts them up