Upto about 2 years ago, I was able to heavily mask and at heart I think I'm actually a reasonably sociable person, but it's like that has all been beaten out of me and I don't know who I am anymore.
Most of my friendships have resulted in me being discarded when the other person has no use for me and joining groups has never really gone well, so I decided I would try something like having a penpal. There would be a sense of connection and also a safe distance between me and the other person.
Anyway I told this woman just the basics about me and I got an incredibly nasty and judgemental letter back. Some of the things asked were why was I a carer for my elderly grandmother, what "happened to my parents"? What did I want to do as a "real " career and my favourite one of all that from my writing, I seemed like I was under 25 (I'm 42) and didnt have much life experience.
I feel incredibly hurt after this exchange and it has made me want to further just retreat into myself when stuff like this seems to happen over and over.
Sometimes I just hate being neurodiverse and judged so harshly all the time when I'm simply trying to do the best I can everyday in a world that can be very difficult. I know this is one of the few safe spaces I could write about this.