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Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

Use this forum to discuss neurodiverse parenting.

Sometimes I wonder why I bother seeking out friendships when it always ends with being treated badly

4 replies

aceofbasefan20 · 09/08/2023 13:15

Upto about 2 years ago, I was able to heavily mask and at heart I think I'm actually a reasonably sociable person, but it's like that has all been beaten out of me and I don't know who I am anymore.

Most of my friendships have resulted in me being discarded when the other person has no use for me and joining groups has never really gone well, so I decided I would try something like having a penpal. There would be a sense of connection and also a safe distance between me and the other person.

Anyway I told this woman just the basics about me and I got an incredibly nasty and judgemental letter back. Some of the things asked were why was I a carer for my elderly grandmother, what "happened to my parents"? What did I want to do as a "real " career and my favourite one of all that from my writing, I seemed like I was under 25 (I'm 42) and didnt have much life experience.
I feel incredibly hurt after this exchange and it has made me want to further just retreat into myself when stuff like this seems to happen over and over.

Sometimes I just hate being neurodiverse and judged so harshly all the time when I'm simply trying to do the best I can everyday in a world that can be very difficult. I know this is one of the few safe spaces I could write about this.

OP posts:
HundredMilesAnHour · 09/08/2023 14:42

It sounds like you were unlucky with your penpal @aceofbasefan20 so please try not to take it to heart too much. They sound very judgemental. Being a carer for your grandmother is a lovely thing to do for her.😘

toffee1000 · 09/08/2023 15:46

Yeah that woman sounds horrible. What nasty stuff to say in a first letter! I mean, it’d be horrible to say it at any time, but it seems particularly bad considering that this was her first reply to you. Some people are just horrible like that. Neurodiversity does add difficulty to one’s social life, but some people are just nasty and rude no matter what.

aceofbasefan20 · 10/08/2023 11:36

@HundredMilesAnHour thank you for your kind words❤

@toffee1000 yeah you're right. To be honest I was kinda shocked at just how blunt someone could actually be towards a complete stranger.

OP posts:
SquirrelSoShiny · 10/08/2023 14:02

It sounds like she has her own problems with social interaction but has helpfully flagged herself as a complete cunt too. This saves you investing time in her which means you can now focus on finding a nice pen pal Flowers

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