How do you feel about Birthdays?

[thehedhogcanneverbebuggered]

I'm autistic, diagnosed as an adult and now in my mid 40s. I've always felt really sad on my birthday and feel under pressure to be happy and do fun things.

I can never think of what I want to do and I just spend the whole day with a fake smile pretending I'm okay with the day but no matter what I choose to do I hate it. I'm so relieved when it turns midnight again and the pressure is off.
I love family member's birthdays though and know exactly what to do then, I really enjoy making them happy.
Wish I could just stop being a misery on my own day though!

I think I am the same actually
i HATE my bday and never celebrate it. If someone gives me a card or present I am no rude though and do say thanks you

I always celebrate others bday with no issues 🥳

I never even advertise it is my bday. It is no shown on Facebook or anything and I no tell no one. At my gym class the instructor will always get everyone to sing happy bday and I did specifically ask him to no do this for me and he did take that into account and just give me a card instead

I wonder if it is the pressure of having to be happy (I also have trauma memories of a traumatic incident involving death of a close family member around that time) but also going back the pressure of having no idea what people’s will get you, no really liking cake or parties etc

this year I did just arrange a evening at McDonald’s on a Sunday evening when I could no be by my own and invited all my friends which was better I think cos then there was less pressure maybe

awww yes sorry to hear that PinkBuffalo, it's probably because of the pressure mainly with me. My parents were always really grumpy most of the time and then would do this fake enforced smiling happiness at our birthdays but would be completely indifferent/miserable at their own. I love my husband's enthusiasm and easy happiness on his birthday, I feel bad for him trying to make me happy when I get so stressed about it.

also I hate surprise presents, they actually make me angry. I have to think, 'Do I like this, do I want this, what will I do with it,etc?'
If people insist on getting me things, I prefer a wishlist then at least I have an idea but it's not going to entirely spoil the surprise element for the giver.

I had the worst bereavement of my entire life on my birthday so I don’t celebrate it any more. But even before that, I never advertised that it’s my birthday. It isn’t on Facebook etc. So if people remember it’s because they actually know me and give a shit, they haven’t been reminded by an app.

Sorry to hear that @Piranhaha that is really rough 🌸