Looking for guidance and suggestions from MNers with dyspraxia please

[WellTidy]

DS15yo was diagnosed privately with dyspraxia last year. I’d suspected it for years, as he had real difficulties learning to ride a bike and took a very long time to learn to tie a tie and shoelaces. Is quite disorganised with school materials. And generally always got very flustered and struggled with fastening/unfastening things - all standard stuff I think for someone with dyspraxia.

He has broken up from school and I would like to use the time he has over the summer to try and teach him skills that he just doesn’t have. Things that I’ve always done on my non working days, which mean that he has never had to learn them. Things that he would find naturally difficult so has never wanted to try and do for himself. And that I’ve done just to save myself the time of teaching him, especially as he avoids even trying to do things that are challenging.

Please could you help me put together a list that would be good skills for someone with dyspraxia to have? I have in mind that in three years he could be off to university and will need to be far more self sufficient than he is. So maybe in some ways the list is of essential skills for anyone to look after themself.

So far I’ve thought of:

Stripping his bed
Making his bed after stripping it
Washing up (properly, after preparing a meal, not just rinsing an item off)
Drying the dishes
Pairing socks so that they stay together in the drawer
Doing a load of washing from start to finish - into machine, peg out, bring in, fold, put away, iron a shirt

He enjoys cooking, and is good at it, so he will do lots of cooking over the holidays without me needing to add it to my list.

If he is like me I just really struggle to learn anything at all and need visual supports/a list
e.g
put washing in washing machine
add powder and fabric conditioner
time wash for 1hr and press start
when beeping turn to off and get washing out
take washing out in Basket and peg up on line if dry outside
alarm for 4 hours later to gets washing in

As to the list what about cleaning the kitchen, bedroom, bathroom and doing the hoovering etc?

Thank you. I don’t think at the moment he needs a visual timetable/sequencing, but I will definitely bear it in mind if I think he is struggling. I’m familiar with these as my youngest DS has ASD plus learning disabilities and we rely on these and social stories quite a lot.

And a friend has ADHD, and she uses alarms on her phone to help her remember pretty much everything.

Yea, hoovering and general cleaning would definitely be worth teaching. I have a cordless Dyson so it’s not as awkward or heavy as a standard vacuum cleaner.

Sounds like you are well on the ball with this 🙂
I have a Henry cos he can fall down the stairs and be roughly handled etc without breaking 😂

@PinkBuffalo I have a Henry too for the (very) odd occasion when I spend more time vacuuming that the Dyson has charge!

I like the list you have made. All practical and basic life skills.
My dh is dyspraxic and to a lesser extent I think DS is too. I'm not sure if mine is the right approach but I try to focus on things DS is good at and encourage him in that direction. Im probably wrong to do this but I make assumptions that there are certain things he will always struggle with, and some things he will never be able to do, because DH has told me this is what of is like for him. It sounds a bit defeatist and I don't want to sell DS short but I also try to be realistic,
DH can not cook for toffee and has poisoned himself (eating frozen food, not cleaning or heating food properly.... anyone familiar w dyspraxia will understand). DS has a similarly reckless attitude to food hygiene, which I need to work on with him; nothing comes naturally in this department.

I would really throw my energies in to encouraging your son's cooking, I'm sure you do already, but this is such a wonderful life skill and one which will help him make friends, support his family and bring joy to those around him.
I am also focused on encouraging DS with school work and career planning etc because he needs to make sure he earns enough to pay for a cleaner, or eating out or a service wash if needs be, because I just can't imagine him being able to reliably use a washing machine.
Anyway, thanks for your list, you've made me think

Just re-read my post and it sounds like I didn't read the bit you wrote about how you DS was going to be doing lots of cooking anyway. This is amazing, it's his golden ticket. It's so lucky he's a competent cook! Good luck.