Worried about DS with RSD cope with divorce

[RainbowZebraaaa]

I've come to terms with my husband and I breaking up on a personal level but I am so worried about my eldest son. He is 6 years old and a sensitive soul. I can see that he has RSD.

When he goes to a park he will immediately say why is noone playing with me and I have to remind me that it's because we have just arrived. If I happen to give his sister a biger piece of cake or even if I give it to her first he will feel immediately hurt and take it personally.

Anyway we haven't told him yet that we are going to break up as we aren't going to move out for another 10 months due to finances.

I'm so worried about how he's going to handle it. I know he will be hurt and feel rejected.

How can I handle this in a way that hurts him least?

Thanks

It's great that MN has this Section but it's a bit sole destroying when nobody replies. Does it have to be directly about being ND to get a reply?

This section is more for Mumsnet members who are neurodiverse, rather than their children. You might have better luck in the SN children or SN chat sections.

This board is generally fairly quiet in terms of traffic. I think even many ND MNers aren't aware it exists. Sometimes posts start to get more replies after a few days. As PP said though, you'll probably be best off trying one of the other boards.
I hope your son fares well with the upcoming changes.

@toffee1000 I am ND though.

@RainbowZebraaaa ahh, I understand. But seeing as it’s a question about your son’s potential reaction to your break-up, it may still be a good idea to try the other SN boards. You may still get other replies here though, @TreesAtSea is right in that this section is fairly quiet.

Thank you

I'm sorry you're having difficulty finding help 🌈 🦓

If it was me trying to communicate something difficult like this, I would write things out and start to formulate am explanation that way. Sort of start with a brain dump, then try organise your thoughts possibly? Maybe end up with a few simple bullet points you want to cover.

• Mum and Dad are still beat friends, they just aren't husband and wife any more.

• their love for boy will never change, no matter what happens. You're still a family, it will just look slightly different

• open communication.

Obviously he's very sensitive, and I guess it's a good thing that ex will be staying for 10 months. Would writing a timeline of things (for soon) help him to refer back to if he's visual? A very simple box per month, listing Christmas (if you celebrate) and important birthdays, maybe school holidays etc, then the month of him moving out. Basically things he can relate to, and have a better understanding of what happens When.

Maybe before breaking the news, you and your ex could come up with a new/special Dad/6yr old activity to do together. Maybe a new craft, sport, class, etc

So it sets him up for having a singular relationship with his Dad, and it gives them a chance to build on that relationship before ex moves out.

Just encourage him talking to you and knowing he can ask questions and seek reassurance (from either of you). If he finds it difficult to ask directly, you could make a question/feelings box where he can put things in he finds difficult to say.

I dunno. I feel for you. You're obviously Doing the best you can. I wonder are there any good books about this kind of thing. I'll bet there are.

🐔 🥧

Here's an independent source and a few sentences about each one.

www.booktrust.org.uk/booklists/d/divorce-and-separation-best-childrens-books/

www.myaspergerschild.com/2013/10/coping-with-divorce-help-for-kids-on.html?m=1

www.amazon.co.uk/Invisible-String-Patrice-Karst/dp/031648623X/ref=d_pd_sbs_sccl_2_1/259-8249437-3742236?pd_rd_w=8eVK7&content-id=amzn1.sym.c633ef94-5925-4800-8916-1372f3be4382&pf_rd_p=c633ef94-5925-4800-8916-1372f3be4382&pf_rd_r=GC51HGRCKWEZZZPEH84G&pd_rd_wg=wq4LU&pd_rd_r=a41fe7a0-89d5-495e-8d63-7ba170bb3382&pd_rd_i=031648623X&psc=1
Sorry big link. Don't know how to change that. This description made my heart ping.

@VelvetLiesAndChickenPies thank you so much 💐💐💐