No friends issues

[Greencabbages3]

Hello all as the title suggests I have no real friends in life. Most of the time I'm resigned to the fact that's just how things are for me but other times it's so upsetting. Today is the other time my heads awash with how do you change who you are so people like you. How do you let people in when letting my guard down doesn't feel safe. I just don't know how to do any of it and today that is making me feel so sad.

I've tried many times to make friends but I'm never successful for long. People happily chat to me but I never make stronger connections.
I'm yet to be diagnosed ADHD/ASD but even after that if I do have either or both I may well think more kindly of myself but I will still have the same issues.
What I find makes it worse is i have no contact with my actual family either due to childhood trauma. I'm not asking for ways to make friends I've tried and failed and ruminated so many times but just wondered if others feel like me?

Thanks

I feel the same. I have no real life friends.

I have a friend I talk with online I've known for over 20 years, met her once, she doesn't live in the UK. And we pick up with each other, share stuff, but she's recently got her Autism diagnosis too, so no wonder we managed to keep it going through quiet times etc, as neither of us take that the wrong way!

In real life it feels not worth the effort to me, I hate going out to "do social things" anyway, I don't drink, I hate loud places, or crowded places.

I'm exactly the same. I've tried over and over to make friends and it just ends up resulting in being ghosted or rejected. It's hard because neurotypical type advice to just "put yourself out there" or join a club doesn't work for me

I'm happy without 'friends' - I have had far too many toxic friendships over the years and I am now totally at ease with not having any. I do have one online friend who I meter up with every couple of years but in between we rarely speak which is literally perfect. She doesn't have an autism diagnosis but her DD has just been diagnosed so...

I think I find it easier because I am approaching 50 and have a really good DH, and adult DC who i speak to regularly along with teen DC still at home. If I didn't have them I would probably feel quite isolated, although I'm usually happy alone.

Hi all thanks for the replies I'm sorry were all going through it to some level. Glad to know you can be happy as you are cooshin may I ask if your post menopausal? I'm in the peri side of things and I feel so unhappy at points in my cycle.
On another note I had my assessment letter for ADHD yesterday just waiting on a call back which is crazy anxiety inducing.