Offload about waiting for contact

[ZigZagRainbow]

I find maintaining friendships so hard. I've got established, long term friendships that I feel like I should be able to feel secure in but I don't.

I messaged my friend a few days ago to arrange something for next weekend and they haven't replied. I know they are busy, I know they like me yet I feel awful about it. I need to know weather she can make it so I can arrange something else if not. I have had to build myself up to messaging her again to find out. I feel like I'm being a pest and a burden. I know I am not though.

I hate having to feel like this. I feel so much shame for no reason!!

Anyway I've sent to the message now, I thought I might get a bit of relief from that but it just feels like I've started the process all over again.

I think I've noticed with this friend that she's very quick to reply if she has initiated contact if not then it's much slower. Which is absolutely fine. We see eachother a good amount. I don't want her to change anything that she's doing. I want to change. I want to be OK with waiting.

Oh the irony

Awwww 💕. Did your friend reply? I very much struggle with flaky people. I hate waiting in information. I like plans.

She did reply. I wouldn't even say she was flakey, it's definitely a me issue. Thank you for your reply.

I like plans too.

I don't think people understand the need for plans. We were recently visiting husband friends in their new house and we didn't get the address until a few hours before expected arrival time. We get public transport ,I don't really sleep, I have bad chronic pain so pacing is vital (getting ready to go it's exhausting never mind the rest) plus am autistic. The whole thing sent me into an unnecessary spin waiting on the details. Just send the bloody address! They would have no idea how that impacts us/me, not having these specific issues or being aware of my full struggle.

I'm trying to be clearer with people when asking things, like - can you please let me know by X?

Did you make plans to meet up? Stick with if they're worth it 🥰 good friends are hard to find (so please be gentle with this heart of miiiiiine 🎶)

@Myshitisreal thanks for sharing that. Its validating to hear it's not just me.

I really struggle with the unknown even if I know the unknown isnt bad. I just have this need to imagine it before hand. Which means I have a big tendancy to live in the future.

Yes we met up. She's a great friend.