Started a new job, not coping

[WhisperingAutistic]

I haven't worked for nearly 10 years, mainly due to having 2 autistic children and one with high medical needs. I always struggled in jobs before children, burnt out after approx a year. I would work in the week and basically sleep all weekend.

My sons school offered me a job, just as a dinner lady for an hour a day. The head said its time to do something 'for me' and didn't even interview other candidates. I'm 3 weeks into the job and am just not coping at all. I'm on the edge of meltdown/shutdown every day. I can't sleep at the weekend to catch up because my children have their activities that they do. My house is upside down, I feel like I can't think straight because my routine is different.

It just feels like chaos in my mind. Like I cannot get a break from it. Constant noise, having to mask etc. I just don't know what to do.

School have asked me to train as a TA. I'm obviously very good at masking but I can't see how my mental health will survive this. I'm drinking a few nights a week to try and switch off. My DH has been great, just letting me rest but if this is how I am after 1 hour a day, how will I be after being there all day??

I just don't know what to do. I'm not trained in anything to take a different job. Hardly any work history because I struggle so much.

Help!

Do you need, financially, to work? You have children who need you to be there for them and you can't do that if you are burnt out.

Not really. We get DLA and carers allowance. I'm only making around £180 a month.
We don't have lots of money but we coped for the last 10 years.

If you don't need financially to work and it makes you ill, then don't. Being a full-time carer to disabled DC is a big enough ask.

Make sure that you are claiming everything that you and the DC are entitled to.

I'm just concerned how I will come across to the teachers and the head. They are going to think I'm pathetic, leaving after only a few weeks. They don't know my diagnosis as I prefer not to share it with school so they don't treat me as lesser somehow.

"I really appreciate the job offer but this isn't working out for me" will suffice.

I think you might benefit from disclosing your own diagnosis to the school. If the school treat you as lesser once they know that you are autistic, that gives you some idea of they treat your children. The school might also know of resources that could help you.