Neurodivergent house here- 5/5 of us!
Things we do:
I manage the kids A LOT when they are hyper emotional. If they start to fall out over something, I coach them through resolving their conflict, and if they can't resolve it I suggest ways they could go and calm down.
Lots of computer time/ special interests encouraged. My 3 kids special interests include minecraft, so they spend a lot of time playing it and watching youtube videos about it. They are encouraged to deep dive into their other special interests as well (dinosaurs, dolls, trains and horses feature heavily in our house!)
Managing meltdowns- we do a lot of time-ins. Whichever child is having a meltdown gets an adult with them when possible, just sitting near them to be available when the child is ready, and also to male sure they don't hurt themselves or other people. I will physically get between my children if one has melted down and fixated on a sibling as the cause, and ask the not-melting-down sibling to leave the room for a few minutes to help X calm down, explaining they aren't in trouble but X can't control themselves at the moment so they need some space. I tend to keep an eye out for triggers, and either help the child navigate the trigger or find a way to avoid the trigger depending on how emotionally heightened the child is at the time.
We have relatively unlimited screentime in the daytime as it calms mine down BUT if an adult says its time for tech to go away, it goes away. All screens must be in a communal area- no tech in bedrooms or bathrooms, and no tech after the bedtime routine starts. The only exception to this is my youngest watches youtube in bed if he wakes up too early as he will not go back to sleep, and the kids have a Kindle Paperwhite each so they can read in the dark without disturbing each other.
Running off steam: we aren't precious about our furniture. The sofa cushions end up on the floor as lava/ as forts/ as trampolines, we have a wobble board that lives under a sofa, my main rule is no throwing inside. If they want to throw things, they either go throw soft toys at their beds or they go outside. I'm looking at getting a trampoline for the garden too.
If someone says they need to be alone we honour that, and that goes for adults too. If someone says they need 5 minutes, then they get 5 minutes- they have to go to a seperate space though, they can't expect everyone to leave a room they were in already.
And finally, lots and lots of grace! For everyone including the adults. We have to live together, we love each other, and so we have to be gracious to each other. Having said all that, things can be pretty loud and chaotic but for the most part its positive chaos (playing, shouting etc) rather than melting down or arguing chaos.