ADHD diagnosis - anyone regret it?

[MrsLamb]

Just that really.

I have had lifelong issues. I have had prelimnary screening using standard assessment tools privately, to explore this short of a diagnosis, and disentangle any other issues. I screen in for ADHD and am now debating whether to go through and complete an assessment.

I am conventionally reasonable successful and coming towards the end of a long career. But this has come at a high price and I live in a constant state of near crisis due to poor organisation and procrastination, despite being a very energetic, hard working and committed person.

I am just weighing up whether a diagnosis would feel liberating or like a millstone. I know something is not right as I have struggled with the same things all my life. For a long time I felt very badly about my shortcomings, but after my DC got a diagnosis, I had a light bulb moment. Is it enough to understand this much? Or do I need diagnosis? Will that bring stigma? (Meds are likely off the cards). TIA

Would you need to tell anyone? I am really happy with my diagnosis. I don’t advertise it but inside it has made me forgive myself for many things and has made me gentler on myself - I’m not a lifelong screw up, I wasn’t a difficult child. I have a condition which I can’t control. But I don’t feel any stigma because no one really knows.

I have made the first step to getting a diagnosis today 😬, I’m feeling a bit odd about it, mainly because the people I have told that I suspect I have ADHD have rolled their eyes at me (mainly family), I know my parents will think it’s a load of rubbish and think that I’m looking for excuses for how I am. Both my dc are diagnosed with ASD and one has suspected ADHD, my eldest DD is the reason why I am looking at getting a diagnosis, she said she hadn’t realised her behaviours were not the norm as she has grown up around me who acts in the same way. I do suffer from being hyperactive, I rarely relax, my short term memory is awful, I can’t plan far ahead without feeling anxious and I have some sensory issue as well as being socially awkward.
I always said I wouldn’t get a diagnosis as I don’t want to take medication but in a way I want to have some answers to why my life has been such a muddle, why I can’t hold down a relationship and why I felt so different growing up.

I haven’t told anyone I am chasing a diagnosis, I’m not even sure I will tell dd1. I know going through the NHS can rake ages so I would rather keep it to myself until I get a diagnosis, then I might tell close friends.

Thanks Both.

I know it is silly, @AisforAdder, but do you feel you are treated differently at the Doctor's etc, that assumptions are made about you? Has your insurance gone through the roof?

Good luck @Lovemusic33, was it straightforward to be referred for an assessment on the NHS? I've heard so may horror stories about adult women being dismissed.

Getting diagnosed at 32 was liberating for me. After a decade of trying antidepressants and cbt and being misdiagnosed with a personality disorder, it was a relief. Adhd medication has also helped, particularly at work with sitting down and doing my admin. My mind and subsequently my life feel less chaotic.

I've disclosed my diagnosis at work which I really needed to do - as its a disability you're protected under the equality act.

I am so happy to have been diagnosed at 45. I have so much more self compassion, my negative self talk has really decreased.
I would always explain my behaviour away by some negative narrative.
I have always been a binge eater and on meds I don't binge eat. I take a break from meds on the weekend and I will compulsively purchase a bag of sweets from the store I will devour. It is so clear to me now that behaviour is rooted in ADHD dopamine seeking.
I used to tell myself the binge eating was due to some kind of trauma that self soothing, so I kind of convinced myself I was living with some trauma even though I couldn't figure out exactly what it was.
Now i binge eat and go, ok, I am off my meds, I will be back on them tomorrow and I don't beat myself up.
I don't know if that entirely makes sense because those of us with ADHD usually do have trauma related to feeling like a failure, decisions made impulsively or not fitting in.

thanks @Dinobooklover and @namechangealerttt .

This thread has nudged me into action - an assessment is happening very soon!

Is travel/car insurance going to be a complete pig from now onwards?

I am waiting for a referral, have only spoken to GP (who made me feel really awkward), he has put in a referral to mental health to see if I tick enough boxes for a ADHD assessment. I have a feeling it’s could take a long time but I am not too bothered as I am not keen on going down the medication route.

@namechangealerttt omg I'm the same with binge eating. Before I started meds I felt a failure for not being able to control it, but now I understand it's lack of dopamine.

@MrsLamb I don't drive and can't afford holidays so I'm not sure.

Thanks @Dinobooklover.

Am now also interested in the dopamine binge eating connection....and also load of sensitivity around even minorly off-kilter social interactions, which sit with me and burn for reasons I've never entirely understood.

Read up on rejection sensitivity disphoria. Does that resonate with regards to these off kilter interactions that sit with you and burn? It is another trait that is common for people with ADHD. Not sure there is much we can do about it, but knowing I can be overly sensitive helps me check in with myself and question the validity of my feelings based on evidence around me.

Don't have adhd but I've had an autism diagnosis for about a year and a half now, and it has made me feel so much more secure with myself, I've always felt like a bit of an outsider, but since my diagnosis I've been able to get the help and support I need, I can confidently tell my peers that I they need to bear that in mind when talking/interacting with me, although I like an outsider at times, I know exactly why ❤

Diagnosed with asd at 50 and adhd at 52. I feel completely validated that I'm not shit at life, in fact, I'm brilliant at it considering my difficulties. Meds have made a huge difference to me, including my permanently high anxiety. I'm very open about my diagnoses, as why not?

I've since been promoted, and my line manager is wonderful. She completely gets me and I can work how I need to. Subsequently, she's getting the very best out of me. I'm also community team lead for our nd people in work. My life has changed immeasurably.

Thanks for the inspiring stories. I now have a diagnosis!

That is a great post to read Mabel and MrsL i hope you feel ok with your diagnosis.

mine changed how i view myself so i think it has been worth it. i forgive myself more. i also think i have asd but can't be arsed to follow up. one thing i have noticed is that i am masking less....

Getting my autism diagnosis has unlocked reasonable adjustments at work and has allowed me to forgive myself for past social transgressions. I couldn't have tried harder to understand other people.

I always said I wouldn’t get a diagnosis as I don’t want to take medication

You don't have to take meds if you don't want to.

How did you do this so quickly, did you go private? I'm 36 and have a referral, have received portal logins and pre-assessment forms to fill, which I'm supposed to be doing right now but keep getting distracted... 🙄 I understand the waitlist for assessment is around 6+ months for the service provider I asked my referral to be sent to, so hoping to get an appointment before the end of the year.

Have to say that even doing the forms has felt 'right' and eased a lot of my self-doubt ("is this silly, what if I'm just lazy and looking for an excuse, I have my life reasonably together, I'm probably just making this up") and inspired a bit of a journey of self-discovery too. Like I'm not even sure I'm actually an introvert like I've thought for years, I think I just became shy because I started realising people find me annoying. And if I can unravel that mess somehow that could make me more content and happier overall.

Yes, I found someone doing NHS assessments, who also has a private practice and works to NICE guidelines.

I don't think it's widely known that ADHD affects driving and risk taking, so as far as I know no insurance companies take it into account.

It's never come up at a non related health appointment, but I'm not in the UK and might have a different health system.