Just wondering if anyone can relate to this or has any advice if they've been through it and found a way to get a successful career!
I am 30 years old and I have two dds and no career. I have a degree in English and I also ended up doing a Masters in it even though I didn't particularly enjoy it and couldn't focus on it. I just didn't know what else to do with myself.
The rest of the past 10 years I have had 10 jobs in everything from call centre work to waitressing to charity work. I haven't stayed at any of the jobs for more than 2 years (most I have left within 6 months). The reason for this is that I either really struggle to concentrate at work or organise myself well enough to do the job, or I quickly start to feel overwhelmed and like I have tricked them into giving me the job and any day they will realise I'm useless and sack me so I generally leave before that happens. I don't think it helps that I was let go from a job after a week when I was 21 which really knocked my confidence, and when I worked as a teaching assistant which I really enjoyed and thought I was good at, I was made redundant after 4 months.
It gets harder and harder to find new jobs because I struggle to justify all of these random moves and I'm so scared it will just happen again. The last job I had was as a volunteer coordinator for a charity which I was so excited about, but I ended up feeling so anxious and too scared to call up prospective volunteers so I ended up leaving that when I fell pregnant with my second. I really regret leaving and feel like maybe I could have done a good job of it if I hadn't let the anxiety take over. Now that my daughter is 1 I have found a very part time job working in a kitchen at a nursery until October which once again I'm not very good at but am determined to stick it out.
I just have absolutely no idea what to do next. I need to work part time for childcare reasons, and when I look at jobs I feel overwhelmed by the choices or feel like I don't have any of the skills needed for the job. And then when it comes to applications I find it almost impossible so I usually only apply to jobs that require a cv and short cover letter.
I feel like I have gotten myself into a position where I am basically unemployable. I've never spoken to anyone with a job history as bad as mine. I feel so ashamed of myself and I want to do so much better. I feel like I've completely wasted the last 12 years since leaving school (other than having my lovely dds).
I would be happy to volunteer or maybe take courses to retrain but I just have no idea where to start or what to do and just feel so overwhelmed.
Thanks for reading and sorry for the long post!