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Unable to keep down a job due to adhd and bad anxiety

1 reply

Swancity · 31/05/2023 12:39

Just wondering if anyone can relate to this or has any advice if they've been through it and found a way to get a successful career!

I am 30 years old and I have two dds and no career. I have a degree in English and I also ended up doing a Masters in it even though I didn't particularly enjoy it and couldn't focus on it. I just didn't know what else to do with myself.

The rest of the past 10 years I have had 10 jobs in everything from call centre work to waitressing to charity work. I haven't stayed at any of the jobs for more than 2 years (most I have left within 6 months). The reason for this is that I either really struggle to concentrate at work or organise myself well enough to do the job, or I quickly start to feel overwhelmed and like I have tricked them into giving me the job and any day they will realise I'm useless and sack me so I generally leave before that happens. I don't think it helps that I was let go from a job after a week when I was 21 which really knocked my confidence, and when I worked as a teaching assistant which I really enjoyed and thought I was good at, I was made redundant after 4 months.

It gets harder and harder to find new jobs because I struggle to justify all of these random moves and I'm so scared it will just happen again. The last job I had was as a volunteer coordinator for a charity which I was so excited about, but I ended up feeling so anxious and too scared to call up prospective volunteers so I ended up leaving that when I fell pregnant with my second. I really regret leaving and feel like maybe I could have done a good job of it if I hadn't let the anxiety take over. Now that my daughter is 1 I have found a very part time job working in a kitchen at a nursery until October which once again I'm not very good at but am determined to stick it out.

I just have absolutely no idea what to do next. I need to work part time for childcare reasons, and when I look at jobs I feel overwhelmed by the choices or feel like I don't have any of the skills needed for the job. And then when it comes to applications I find it almost impossible so I usually only apply to jobs that require a cv and short cover letter.

I feel like I have gotten myself into a position where I am basically unemployable. I've never spoken to anyone with a job history as bad as mine. I feel so ashamed of myself and I want to do so much better. I feel like I've completely wasted the last 12 years since leaving school (other than having my lovely dds).

I would be happy to volunteer or maybe take courses to retrain but I just have no idea where to start or what to do and just feel so overwhelmed.

Thanks for reading and sorry for the long post!

OP posts:
Forgetmenott · 31/05/2023 17:26

I’m autistic and I have the same problem. I struggle to concentrate at work because there are too many people and the lights are too bright and it’s too noisy etc. I’ve quit several jobs or been sacked for being autistic. Now it’s super difficult to work because childcare restricts my hours, and I’m constantly worried about being bullied or mistreated or sacked due to my autism because it’s happened so many times.

I’ve come to the conclusion that the only way for me to not get bullied or mistreated or sacked is to be self employed. And it’s the only way I can get a decent part time job (jobs advertised as part time are always shitty and low paid). So I’ve been retraining and I’m going to freelance when I work myself up to it. It’s not easy.

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