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Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

Use this forum to discuss neurodiverse parenting.

ASD or ADHD

4 replies

Allthatjazz234 · 29/05/2023 20:42

Since having my daughter who is 3 and withnessing some of her difficulties and relating to them myself I have finally decided to get myself assessed for autism but now i am wondering whether i actually have ADHD or maybe both. How common is it to have both? There is a family history of both autism and ADHD. I would say the main symptoms which impact my life are as follows

In every part of my life i have always felt like the odd one out. Couldnt function in group settings, don't know when to talk, freeze when around people I don't know. Find social interaction exhausting and generally feel quite inferior to others.

Always last to get a joke or not get the joke at all.

Hate anything unexpected or change of plans.

Quite serious personality but can be funny when comfortable with someone.

Could not study in school. Always forgetting homework or just not being able to get work done. Underperformed despite being told I was quite smart.

I would get in trouble in class for talking, interrupting, humming and whistling. I would be doing these things without realising i was doing them. Had to be moved around in class a lot as distracting other students.

struggled massively in college. Couldn't organise myself, failed a year, became withdrawn from my classmates.

I can make a mess very easily and only realised I was messy after meeting my partner and he told me outright.

I cannot physically make small talk. Incredibly socially awkward. Massive social anxiety. Hate waiting in lines. Hate crowded places. Cannot make eye contact with people.

When trying to talk to someone I find it incredible difficult to focus my attention on the person when they are talking. I will drift off, not process what they are saying, struggle to keep up.

Heightened sense of smell, startle easily. Need background sound all the time. Fall asleep with earphones in and listening to a show. I also pick the skin around my fingers very badly until they bleed.

Have had good friendships but would describe as intense and they have mostly been ended by the other person. I have noticed that I mimic people that I am close to and tend to take on their interests as my own. Mimic their accents, style etc.

Just wondering what do others think, more ASD or ADHD? And does anyone relate to any of this because sometimes I just feel like such a weirdo who cannot function as an adult in the real world and its getting me down.

OP posts:
Mabelface · 30/05/2023 13:25

Hello from a fellow weirdo who has both. Being assessed is validating as it shows you're not shit at life, you're an nd person living in an nt world.

Allthatjazz234 · 31/05/2023 09:23

Hi @Mabelface! Thank you, it's nice to know I'm not the only who struggles...because that's what it feels like often even though of course that's not the case. Can I ask what prompted you to get assessed? To be honest I can't believe I've gone this long without it clicking that I am most likely neurodivergent!

I had one colleague jokingly hint that I could have ADHD and that really sticks out to me. I think the rest of my family are the same as me so never saw any different.

OP posts:
Mabelface · 31/05/2023 09:37

My eldest son was diagnosed with asd, and that planted the seed that there was a reason for my struggles. I'd spent my life just thinking I was a bit shit at it. Diagnosed with asd, but that didn't explain everything. Adhd diagnosis and meds were then life changing. I can focus, far less procrastination, massively reduced anxiety, no more massive highs and lows. I can think before I speak and reflect. Most of all now though, I don't give a shit it people don't like who I am. This is me and I'm not changing!

BeautifulSloth · 01/07/2023 19:08

Seems like autism to me. I don't call it ASD as I don't think autistic people are disordered.
"People experience and interact with the world around them in many different ways; there is no one "right" way of thinking, learning, and behaving, and differences are not viewed as deficits." By Nicole Baumer

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