Parents and assessment

[FloorWipes]

I have been offered an NHS ASD and ADHD assessment. They insisted though that they will need developmental history input from my parents. I haven’t mentioned it to my parents yet and I’m scared. I just think my parents will think I’m dramatic and insist I’m totally “normal”. Yesterday my dad mentioned how I found any change totally unacceptable as a child. My mum swiftly came in to say how normal this is. I was diagnosed with OCD very young so lots of my behaviour was definitely not “normal”. I’m half thinking of cancelling this assessment I’ve been trying to get for years. Help.

School were absolutely not supportive of dd's diagnosis and filled the form in saying it was a parenting problem but the assessor was able to pick up stuff they wrote and pointed out that they had written enough that they should have been concerned.

Thanks @BlackeyedSusan I think to be honest unless my parents outright lie - which I feel they probably wouldn't though they may minimise - the developmental stuff will be mildly supportive of a diagnosis, though definitely short of definitive. But I'm especially worried about my parents' opinions on the whole thing - that will just think it is all pointless and that I am being silly. I find the idea of telling them about this very hard.

I never told my mum. I didn't want to worry her in her old age.

If the assessor wasn't requesting it I wouldn't mention it to my parents either. It partly is fear of judgment but as you say I also don't want to worry them.

I wasn't asked for parental input for either my private asd or NHS adhd assessments. It's useful information if parents are on board, but not everyone has that, so you could tell the assessor that they're not supportive but have mentioned the traits you had as a child. Don't cancel the appointment, you need this.

I was asked for parental input but said that wasn't possible and was assessed anyway. Do you have a sibling or other relative who could do the developmental stuff? They just want some evidence you have had similar problems from childhood.

I did say that I was uncomfortable asking my parents but she was quite insistent. I think because this is considered part of a "second/third opinion" - not that I've ever had an autism assessment before - perhaps that is why it might be considered especially important to get this input. It is a long story why this is considered to be second/third opinion and I sort of think it is that it would be described that way but that's the situation.

*sort of think it is ludicrous

Vicar wrote a letter for dd's assessment. My sil did my other evidence.

That's good to know. I don't think I really have anyone else who has known me since childhood. I do have some friends I've known since I was very young but I am very masked in front of them.

I had a similar situation. Make a note of what your dad said and pass it along. I found the assessors were quite prepared for parents who wouldn't say much or insist all was fine. There were a couple of things my mum didn't put on the form as she 'didn't think they mattered' but actually they evidenced restrictive behaviour when I was younger so I just told the assessors what she'd said.

I have unsupportive parents, and was told it was fine to just give my own recollections of childhood. I was given my NHS Autism diagnosis earlier this year.

Although if you did need a more objective view, do you have any old school reports that mention anything that could be autistic traits? My DH is due to be assessed for ADHD soon, and is using comments from those for the childhood part. His mum is quite resistant to the idea of him having it so might not be cooperative, but he is planning on using some of her comments anyway e.g. "Oh I don't believe in ADHD, he's just lazy, disorganised, hopeless, easily distracted," etc, all of which actually describe how he struggles.