Emotional disregulation - strategies that've worked for you

[heckless]

I'm getting really annoyed with myself. I get teary and my voice quavers at any type of confrontation, or disappointment. This is really affecting my career.

The situation can be really quite minor but my body reacts intensely.

I may or may not have ASD. Only just exploring the idea but quite a lot fits. This could just be from a messed up childhood though.

BUT from my reading I do know that it's common among people with autism so I'm hoping that someone here has some strategies for share.

What worked, what didn't?

From what I've read meditation seems to help - but does it in reality? If so how long did it take?

Thank you!!

I have found that it's too late by the time I am emotionaly heightened. I need to catch it much earlier on. So noticing the very minor things that irritate or bug me even if I don't do anything about them just be aware of it helps.

I have to follow some blanket rules in order for me not to over do it, for example I have identified that there are many things that can make driving stressful for me and my blanket rule is that I won't drive if there's going to be 4 or more of the stressors. I probably can manage around 3 or even four but life is unpredictable so I need to make sure I am not only doing stuff that is manageable it has to be easier than manageable to account for the stuff that might happen. This means I'm less likely to be pushed over the edge.

Tracker apps are good for checking in with your mood or little and often journalling. Anything that helps me check out how I'm feeling. Often I've got low level stuff upsetting, annoying or grating on me that wouldn't get noticed unless I intentionally check in with myself. If I do that then I can tackle it before it builds up and it's too late.

@TellHimDirectlyInDetail Thank you so much for replying and sharing your strategies.

They make a lot of sense. I've started journalling in the morning, but was just considering doing a short note in the afternoon as well, as a bridge between work and home. Sounds like it might be a good idea.

And I guess questioning how and what I'm actually feeling as I sit down to write. It's so hard to know! I guess I'll get better at identifying how and what I'm feeling as I practice.

I could definitely do with some more structured go/no go rules for driving.

I had chronic fatigue when I was younger and during recovery I applied the planning for less than I think I can do to allow for 'life' when it came to physical energy. It sounds as though you do the same for emotional energy which makes a lot of sense.

But again its the identifying the feelings - which is where the journalling and apps can come in.

It feels a little as though I have to work hard at learning how to be human whereas others just seem to know, and can take that for granted.

Thanks again! 😊

For identifying emotions you might find the emotions wheel helpful. You can Google it. You start from the middle and then work your way out.

You may also want to do a sensory check, so check your tiredness, hunger, thirst, touch, light, sound. It could be that by intentionally checking these things that you understand them better than you think.