Does this sound autistic and should I seek diagnosis?

[Showmethefood]

Hi all,

So I was diagnosed with ADHD at the beginning of this year - on medication, all good etc. But, as time goes on I’m beginning to think I may also be autistic. My symptoms go back right into childhood - but I’ve masked so much I’m not sure what I do or think anymore.

My husband isn’t sure and doesn’t know much about autism. The only thing he’s said to me is “you can’t have it because you don’t speak in a monotone voice 🤷‍♀️”. I’m so confused.

The question I’m asking I guess is - is it worth going for a diagnosis or not? My symptoms are below and why I think I may be autistic - bearing in mind I know some cross over into ADHD:

1. I hate eye contact. It physically hurts and feels as though my eyes are on fire. I make myself do it because I know I have to.

2. If something isn’t the way I expect it to be it sends me into meltdown. For instance if I come in and my husbands moved the sofa I instantly notice it’s in the wrong place and I can’t cope. (It sounds ridiculous I know).

3. I constantly feel like I’m on the outside looking in. Like I don’t fit in anywhere. I never feel “part” of anything.

4. I hear sounds nobody else does.

5. Sometimes I hate having people touch me. It makes me tense and annoyed.

6. I hate social situations and find I have to walk away from them whenever possible. I.E if husband has family over I have to disappear to regulate. Then when they’re gone I have to do nothing just to get over the fact they’ve gone 😂

7. I have no idea how to tell people how I feel and often say the wrong words or mess it up. Even starting a conversation with my husband about how I feel is difficult. Unless of course I’m annoyed and then the ADHD takes over and it comes out rude.

8. I get obsessed with things to the point where I watch the same episodes over and over again etc.

9. if I’m speaking to someone who has an accent I catch it and start talking like them. I also become like the people I’m with and say what I think they want me to say.

But when I take online tests none of these kind of questions come up !! They just keep asking me if I can read peoples faces and tell the intentions of book characters Etc. please share your thoughts and help me.

Thank you.

Points 2/3/4/5/6 I identify with, and I am Autistic
ADHD and Autism do have some overlap and are classed as comorbidities for each other

Dismissing you because of your voice, especially if he knows nothing else about Autism is a bit silly. It's called a spectrum for a reason!

It does sound like you would benefit from looking into this further, lots of those things sound Autistic. How did you get your ADHD diagnosis? Did they mention Autism at all? My husband presented himself thinking he had ADHD an got an Autism diagnosis!

I asked the Gp to refer me for ADHD and he did. At the assessment though it was only about ADHD and they wouldn’t even look at symptoms of autism. 😆

Well, lol, ok, that sounds about right. I would suggest you get another appointment and ask for an Autism referral! Take notes like above to make your major points.

Thank you. I will :)

You might want to read some accounts written by autistic women, and/or listen to them talking about their experiences - Sarah Hendrickx is good. Also, Tony Attwood (a psychologist specialising in autism) has a really helpful YouTube video about how women and girls have a different experience of autism. Many tests, such as ADOS were designed in order to just observe behaviours in children and that’s problematic for adults as it’s neither age appropriate nor does it actually take into account someone’s lived experience or ability to mask. In short: your description certainly fits with autistic experience and you may not ‘look autistic’ to others. As you may well know, if you have a diagnosis of ADHD it’s quite common to also have traits of autism as well. In fact, there is some discussion about its being useful to screen for both at the same time.

I’ve never been sure if I have some sort of autism either but some of my quirks have got worse over time etc.

I’m noise and light sensitive at night now but never used to be.

I do hear electric etc sounds.

I don’t like change in general but have learned to cope with it and embrace it.

I also watch episodes over and above veg sometimes but mostly due to boredom. Read some books over and over.

I don’t like eye contact but do do it.

I don’t like hugging etc but also do do it.

I don’t have ADHD.

I think some of the points you mention are just you.

I mean I’ve also felt sometimes like I’m on the outside looking in and don’t fit in but I haven’t always felt like that.

I do think some of my traits are due to my upbringing and conditioning. If I’d eg gone to uni then my life would be very different to how it is now, but that can be said of a lot of us.

I’m going to watch the you tube videos etc too.

It’s interesting about a year ago I met a woman in her mid 30s with ADHD and autism, a lawyer. I probably wouldn’t have guessed from meeting her at first glance, conversation, but she told me about it. And then I thought, well we get on, socialise and she’s a lovely person, so her ADHD and autism make no difference at all to how I perceive her as a person, and she’s become a valued friend!

I don't recommend listening to Tony Attwood as he's not autistic.

Have a read of Unmasking Autism by Devon Price and Divergent Mind by Jenara Nerenberg.

They both explain why a lot of autism research was done on white, middle class males. Both books talk about Neurodivergent women who present differently to white, middle class males.

Thank you all. I went to the doctors today and made an appointment to see Dr regarding potential autism referral.

Good luck @Showmethefood

I hope it goes well for you.