My ex was a very busy person. I always tried to understand that he had a lot on his plate and I tried to be sympathetic when he didn’t have time for me, which was all the time. Eventually, it clicked that if a man wants to make time for you he will make time for you. Maybe not as often as you wish, but at a level that is visible. He dumped me the day that I told him that if he wanted to spend time with me he would.
I have a very kind and lovely friend who has been very important to me over the years. When I think about not having this friend as a friend I feel very sad.
My lovely friend has a lot of responsibilities and does a lot of things for other people. I understood that I was fairly low down on their list of priorities but knew that was natural. All the things my friend does for other people is just a sign of their caring nature.
After some years of this, I noticed that I was starting to think of the friendship as fading out. My friend doesn’t really know what’s going on in my life these days.
I know that my friend needs to meet their responsibilities the way they need oxygen. I know that as a good and loyal friend I would understand this (and I do) and I would not let it change anything.
But I am starting to wonder whether I should just accept that the friendship isn’t going to last forever.
Behind all this, I am aware that my issues caused me to be very very clingy towards my friend some years ago. This period is in the past but I feel it must still shape how my friend sees me. So I make an extra effort to be understanding now.