Feeling really low - is it a ND thing?

[PuffinPuffinPenguin]

No matter what I do I just can't shake this feeling that life is pointless and that everything is a waste of time and that everyone would be better off without me.

I have ADHD and honestly I just feel like I want to switch off these stupid feelings so I can be happy and enjoy the baby days with my children but no matter what meds I take or what I do I always come back to feeling like this. And I've missed out on so much of my baby's early months now because of suicide ideation and recurrent depressed phases.

I can't ever get that time back and I don't know why I can't just work properly. Has anyone else experienced anything like this and found a way to work through/around it and get back to being happy again? I'm on 18mg methylphenidate (since 2 months) and it helps a bit but it's not doing what I hoped it would do and even though it's extended release it's still wearing off too soon and I am still left feeling like total shit before and after.

I just feel like such an outsider detached from the world and like nothing matters.

That does sound more like depression than any ND, though of course it would be silly to discount the effects of ND on self esteem.

Are you due to go back to the doctor and report on how the meds are doing?

Sorry to hear you're feeling like this. Adhd can cause situational depression, which lifts when you get the right treatment.

Perhaps you need a higher dose of meds - 18mg is low. Are you seeing a specialist about ADHD treatment?

Also have you read much about ADHD burnout? You could be feeling that, esp with a new baby to care for.

It must be hard but it won't be like this forever. You're on the right track now with treatment and you will get through this. Don't be too hard on yourself in the meantime.

Worth going to gp or speaking with your health visitor has this come on stronger during pregnancy or after birth could you have a bit of pnd going on xx