So lonely how do I make friends in a small town

[Lisaloc]

Wonder if anyone has any ideas on how I can meet people? I've lived in a small town for 7 years. There's no meet-up in my town and I don't want to start one, also I have tried to find volunteering but nothing available. No clubs other than slimming world at the village hall. Has anyone got any ideas on how to make friends in a small town (as if it's that easy). I am so utterly lonely.

That sound hard Op I get it cos I am so desperately lonely myself living by my own with no family

if you have a village hall do you have a local community centre attached? I do volunteering there

I also joined a gym and do classes there. Have made some very good friends there (genuinely going through a crisis right now with friendships misunderstandings and one of them is encouraging me to go back and join them)

I know a local coffee shop near me holds book club but I cannot go to that cos I have issues with reading

is there a local Facebook group you could ask on?

sorry if none of this is helpful to you

Thank you for replying. I've tried lots of gym classes but have never been able to make friends at them. I wish I lived in a big city where there were lots of clubs to join.

Sorry to hear about your friendship crisis. Do you think you will go back? Hope it all works out for you.

I think the key for me with gym classes was no the trying them it was religiously going to the same ones day in day out for years

what about an independent fitness group? That would look after it’s members these tend to be a bit more expensive about £40 a month

i also live in a relatively rural coastal community I really do no think I would thrive in a city but I agree it means you are limited in what you can try

I did go back to mine this morning but it did no feel right I am currently looking at the local leisure centre instead. For me it is less about fitness and more about if I do no go gym classes I would go weeks without talking to another human

the loneliness is crippling I really do understand you. And then my autism makes me no understand anything so I gets upset, which then upsets other people cos sometimes the misunderstanding can make them look bad which I no mean to

I always say I ruin everything that is why I always have to find new activities ☹️

Is there a Women’s Institute in the village or in nearby villages? The one I go to has meetings twice a month with nice activities. Interesting lectures, crafts, book club, theatre club and fundraisers. I’ve been a member of W.I since 2018 and I finally felt settled in it last year 🙈

it takes me ages to settle and make lasting connections with other nice people.

In the past I’ve attended a leisure centre gym and found it gave me a psychological boost as well as losing a few pounds. I didn’t meet friends there but I liked the opportunity for socialisation. Definitely felt less alone after going. Need to get back into this!

do you work? I find working very social as well.

I have a dog and attend a dog walking club once a week.

good luck with putting yourself out there and sticking with it so you can eventually make connections.

If there’s a church you could start there? Most tend to have coffee mornings.

Try some churches til you find one that fits. They are all different.

I know this is an old thread but how did you get on? I'm close to giving up myself. I've been in a small town 4 years and haven't made any real friends. Plenty of acquaintances but nothing beyond that. I volunteer and to be honest it's made me feel even more lonely as they're pretty good at ignoring me and then once in a while reminding me that I'm not a local (they even switch their accents when talking to me) or showing their distrust of me for some strange reason even though I work hard to keep their income stream. I don't feel that volunteering was worth it in the end (I run hall bookings for the local Scout Hut so pretty demanding as people are paying to hire a hall for their events). No one responds to questions/requests and no one helps me with aspect of compliance. My youngest is moving on at the end of term from prep school to state secondary so I know that will close another door as state schools are less social (my older child is already at a state school). I've toyed with the idea of keeping my youngest in the private system to have some sort of social life which sounds pretty decadent but that's how it seems to work in the countryside. I go to a gym but doesn't add much to my experience especially as they keep closing down and I have to join a new one.