Adhd overwhelm...please help

[MrsBennetsPoorNerves]

I am unmedicated at the moment (health reasons) and perimenopause is making my symptoms worse.

I have loads of really important work to do and I feel completely paralysed by overwhelm... there is so much that I don't know where to start. I'm also avoiding a lot of it because it's overdue and I'm embarrassed. I have been staring at my computer screen all day. Looking for any distractions that might come my way so that I don't have to start.

I know I need to break it down, but it feels too overwhelming somehow. I know I need to just get stuck in and do something, but how? I know I'm making it worse all the time by not just getting through it, but I just can't seem to mobilise myself, no matter how hard I try. I'm so stressed, and the more stressed I feel, the more paralysed I seem to become.

I feel totally stuck.

Can anyone who understands adhd offer any insights or suggestions, please?

Anyone? Please...

2 minute blocks. Deal with one email right now. Give yourself a 5 minute break. Then one more email. Another break.

Try this as much as you can. At 3pm, you do the hardest thing, no excuses, as hard as it is.

You know you can do this, it can happen. You're capable.

Good luck!

HI, I'm Autistic, not ADHD diagnosed, but so many things overlap!

what have you tried that has failed?

I use an app called Habatica, which game-ifies list making and doing tasks. I can add a personal list to it, when I check it off I get rewards for the little character I made.

Would taking a break, 5 minute walk outside or something, reset you to a working mindframe?
Getting a coffee and starting over for the day?
Are you wearing work clothes? I know that helps some people get in the right place.

I don't want to appear condescending suggesting things, but I didn't want to read and run when you do want advice.

Thank you for your replies, and please don't worry about seeming condescending...I feel utterly useless right now.

Have tried so many things...apps, paper lists, timers etc. Meditation also. Starting with two minute blocks is a good idea.

The gamification might also help.

I also get task overwhelm and can sit staring for all eternity! My things that help: lists, but the list needs to be two things- somewhere I will see it not tucked away (or I’ll forget), and micro-dosing each task. I get especially floored by admin and paperwork, so I might break a task into finding the paperwork and that is it for the day. Next day sorting it into piles and so on. That way I have a task for the day, I don’t try and do more than I have set myself and I am a step further each time. A walk in the open air helps, moving generally helps.

I get this, and it's so hard to break through and get started on anything when I've got stuck because of overwhelm.

Something that seems to work (sometimes, a bit) for me is making an overly detailed list of things I need to do (ridiculously detailed, with each task broken down into the smallest possible chunks), then picking the easiest or fastest things on that list to start with, rather than the most important or urgent. If I can get myself to do SOMETHING at least, it can help to unfreeze me and I'm more able to use that momentum to do other things afterwards. The little dopamine hit from crossing things off a list is always good, too.
Sometimes it helps to do something productive but unrelated - if I've gone onto 'pause' staring at my computer screen I might decide to go load the dishwasher, for example. It's like there's no pressure with that activity, but I'm still doing something that needs to be done and that sometimes provides the momentum to keep going/I can figure out stuff like "how am I going to reply to that email" while my hands are busy with something else (though sometimes it only gives me momentum to carry on doing unrelated things/procrastinating on what I need to be doing, so it can backfire too).
With boring stuff like admin, I find that working in silence makes it much worse, so having something mindless on TV in the background can help; nothing I need to pay attention to, just enough extra stimulation so that I'm not crawling out of my own skin with boredom (I don't watch reality TV generally, but it's great for this sort of thing because I don't really care about it and there's no plot to follow). Again, this can backfire - but it works well for me sometimes!
Short bursts and longer breaks can be good too, if I'm really stuck. 5 minutes of focus then a 10-15 minute break, with a couple of longer break periods during the day; it makes it a little more manageable and less overwhelming. Sure, in an ideal world I'd like to be focusing more than that...but if the choice is between having less productive time but still getting some stuff done, or being totally frozen and achieving nothing at all, I reckon lots of breaks is still the better option!

I really hope this comes across okay; I've felt really patronised in the past when I've been struggling with stuff like this, and I wouldn't want you to feel like that. (I also know my techniques won't work for everybody - they don't even work for me half of the time! 😂)

I came on here because I'm feeling very similar. Feel really crap about myself. A family member made a comment on the phone to me last night about me being naughty because of my difficulties with getting stuff done and it's pisses me off. (Plus I'm 55!!!). I'm undiagnosed but feel like all my life family think I'm lazy or just want to be awkward whatever. Just feels very dismissive.