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Apprehensive about seeking an assessment- please help.

5 replies

Ncforthis12 · 24/03/2023 15:06

Hi, I've noticed indicators over the years that I may be autistic. The more I look into my 'quirks' the more it ties together.
I'll try to keep this concise.
As a child I was very shy. I never felt hungry. I only ate 2 foods (not food groups) and was sent to a dietician. I've never eaten meat. I skin picked from around 4 years old. Still do but have moved to a less conspicuous area.
Every school report mentioned 'perfectionist' yet at home I was a mess.
As a teenager I started list making- obsessively. A couple of times people found my lists and highlighted how odd they were, nowadays my lists are a bit more stranger friendly.
I morphed myself into anyone whose company I was in but squirmed inside during social interactions. Still do.
I don't like being touched, hugged, kissed. I need to know it's coming. I'm very sensitive to noise, light and smells. I'm married and can't share a bed or room with my husband. Lockdown came as a relief, I would rather stay at home & hide under a mask if I need to venture out. My idea of friendship is seeing someone once in a couple of years. Therefore, I have 1 friend who understands.
I need routine and don't like anything spontaneous. I can't be under-prepared.
There are other things, very specific though so don't feel comfortable writing here.
I've took 2 online tests and scored 23/30 & 40/50.

I'm apprehensive to contact my GP in case it's a flat no and I need to face this person again. Private is expensive but I could save. Equally don't want to waste money if it's obvious I am not autistic, just weird.

Do any of these traits resonate with anyone who has been diagnosed as an adult? We're you diagnosed through NHS or privately?
Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read or respond.

OP posts:

premicrois · 24/03/2023 17:20

I was dismissed by my GP and eventually went private - I was diagnosed. I also mentioned it to that GP when I saw him about a year after diagnosis so probably 3 years on from his initial refusal to refer. He apologised and said they still have a lot to learn. I accepted and anytime I have seen him since I have felt understood.

If you get to the point if suspecting it's highly likely that you are autistic and absolutely worth seeking assessment. I suffer the worst imposter syndrome even and went round in circles for years before finally doing it, I was right all along. It changed my life.


Mabelface · 24/03/2023 19:11

I don't think your gp would turn you away. Tell them what you've told us.


Ncforthis12 · 24/03/2023 21:15

@premicrois I'm sorry you went through that with your GP initially. I think it's very brave for anyone to go to their doctor to speak about this.
That's something that's holding me back, laying it all on the table to be told no.
Since having your diagnosis are you easier on yourself for things you do/how you operate a bit differently to others?

@Mabelface I hope you're right. I might write to them as it's a bit easier.

Thank you both for replying.

OP posts:

premicrois · 24/03/2023 21:19

Since having your diagnosis are you easier on yourself for things you do/how you operate a bit differently to others?

Absolutely. I understand myself. I have forgiving and made sense of the younger me. I have recognised my vulnerability, the bad things that happened because of it. Found the power to protect myself in future. I have also found the ability to speak up when I need help sometimes instead of running away. I have pulled back from situations that I thought I should be in but found difficult and I am living a much better life


Mabelface · 25/03/2023 10:07

Same as @premicrois , I think about myself very differently now. I accept my limitations, don't hide my quirks and am comfortable with who I am.

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