Hello there,
The other day I had a conversation with a woman I've done some freelance research work for previously. The work was quite repetitive and it played to my attention for detail. Because I have a doctorate, I'm supposed to want more complex research work (which I guess would pay more), but I was just fine with the repetitive stuff.
Now she's back in touch, as she says other projects are likely to come up soon. We had a conversation about all the different possible tasks I might be able to help with, from analysing large datasets, to managing research assistants, to writing reports. Because of difficulties at work previously, I just want to unmask. So I did my best to say very plainly which skills I am very strong at, and which ones I am mediocre or slow at. So I told her I'm accurate with data analysis but quite slow; my attention to detail is very good; I love writing and do it swiftly; I need structure and regular meetings if left to my own devices; I have almost no experience in managing people.
However, I didn't mention my actual autism, merely my strengths and weaknesses. She wants to send me a 'case study' to work on this week, I think to see if she and I can communicate effectively on more complex projects.
I am aware that in our working culture we are meant to endlessly hustle and bullshit. But for my own sanity I was quite pleased that I was frank during our discussion. Because I can't survive another scenario where I am out of my depth and not playing to my strengths. I would rather not get any further work from her than have to deliver on something where I am weak.
If I don't get further work from her, then so be it: I will use it as a sign to be even more self-accepting, and to find work which is better for me.
Some of the biggest mistakes I've made in my life have involved being an utter bloody chameleon in the workplace. Has anyone else here opted to drop the mask even if it means letting go of certain types of paid work?