Mild Autism

[Gingerkittykat]

I've got really upset by a thread started by a parent of a severely autistic child discussing their experiences. This is great, they deserve a place to discuss their struggles parenting a profoundly disabled child and I know my struggles are vastly different from somebody who is profoundly autistic.

What upsets me is the fact that so many want to describe my autism as mild. Of course my experiences are different, I live independently, have mostly successfully parented a NT child, I can talk, toilet myself etc.

This doesn't mean my life is not severely affected. Just because I was diagnosed in adulthood doesn't mean I have had a problem free life. Aspergers didn't exist as a diagnostic term when I was a child so of course it was missed. I was just labeled a weird, withdrawn kid so left to struggle, bullied all the way through school (including by the teachers sometimes) which has had lasting effects on my self esteem and self image.

What they don't see is the fact I started self harming aged 8, had my first suicide attempt aged 15, developed eating disorders aged 13 which led me to being hospitalised aged 17. I also made multiple suicide attempts around that age and self harmed frequently needing hospital treatment a lot of the time.

I'm still in the psychiatric system 25 years on, at the moment I have agoraphobic levels of anxiety and barely leave the house. I work a few hours online a week but most of my income is disability benefits, I'm frequently suicidal and wake up shaking with anxiety a lot of the time.

But, yeah, my autism is mild.

Easier said than done, but please don't take someone's ignorance to heart 🌻

I saw those threads as well (there were two of them) - I hid them in the end. I think it is indicative of the wider problem we have in society of poor mental health being taken far less seriously than poor physical health (less attention, less funding, still huge stigma attached, etc).

How you describe your childhood and adolescence is very much the path my dd was going down - the people we saw who diagnosed her described her autism as 'subtle, but not necessarily mild' - so at least the experts are open-minded about the experiences of those who are considered higher functioning.

Something that baffles me is that autistic people are always stereotyped as having no empathy, yet it often feels like it is NT people who refuse to understand our point of view and who bully and ostracise those who don't fit their narrow view.

Oh lovely, you have not got mild autism. Your autism presents differently.

Often our autism can appear mild because they don't see us when we are full on autistic (not masking) because we are often at home riding out the meltdown/anxiety/exhaustion or avoiding situations we can't cope with.

Thanks for your understanding, sick of being told things like I am privileged to have mild autism and be able to type and similar.

There are 2 new threads about language and autism today, the first has got to 1000 messages so they are on thread 2 now. I shouldn't have opened to have a look, but definitely avoiding these threads from now on.

When they say “mild autism” they mean my difficulties are social and behavioural, not physical or intellectual. It’s part of a cultural belief that physical and intellectual disabilities are real and important, but social and behavioural disabilities are not.

I read that thread and quickly hid it. Ivan relate to your experiences
The NT view of the world in general is a mystery to me but I'm often struck by how cruel and ignorant people are towards those they see as different.