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Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

Use this forum to discuss neurodiverse parenting.

Depression Attacks

3 replies

SnappyTheCrocodile · 20/02/2023 19:07

Does anyone else experience these?

I am on a waiting list for ASD assessment but fairly certain of my diagnosis. I was Googling about sudden onset of suicidal ideation in women with ASD and came across what Toby Atwood describes as ‘depression attacks’. This is exactly what I experience. A meltdown that leads to a complete loss of control of my mental health and causes intense depression for a few hours or a couple of days at most. In the midst of it, I genuinely feel suicidal, harm myself, feel as if my whole world is collapsing, can’t see that I will ever feel ok again. And then once the feelings subside, I feel ‘emotionally hungover’, tired, embarrassed, guilty etc. but feel completely disconnected from the raging, suicidal person I was mere hours before.

I struggle so much to pinpoint how I actually feel most of the time. I’m fairly articulate and could give your hundreds of words for emotions but never feel like any of them fit.

I just feel like now I’m a mum of two small children I’m struggling more than ever. The loss of time to recharge (read: stare into space doing nothing), the lack of control, the noise, the restless nights, the loss of bodily autonomy, the sensory overwhelm… it’s so fucking difficult. I feel like my husband takes on so much burden and I’m still burnt out!

Does this resonate with anyone? Does anyone have any suggestions for anything that might help. If this keeps going on it’s going to cause my marriage to break down. I can’t keep behaving like this.

OP posts:
SnappyTheCrocodile · 20/02/2023 19:08

Sorry, that should say Tony Attwood!

OP posts:
Megmargs · 20/02/2023 21:11

Yes. Have cried and felt suicidal the past three days, today I actually feel pretty good and happy. This happens a lot. I have actually noticed a link between eating crappy food and these short burst depressions, the longer burnouts are definitely circumstantial but these I think are triggered by food.

I do not eat healthily by any stretch of the imagination, I don’t have the capacity to prepare proper meals, but if I eat more sugar than usual it happens, and I’ve noticed before if I had a takeaway pizza it happened. I still eat stuff with sugar in, but this week I had a few desserts and chocolate after my tea and the end of the week I was a depressed mess.

I hope you can work out some triggers eventually and feel better. It’s really awful and debilitating.

Megmargs · 20/02/2023 21:15

Also, I realise none of that helps to reduce the demands of being a parent, I have no children and can’t imagine how difficult that must be. However I do hope that perhaps there may be something of use in my previous post as what you describe doesn’t seem like the usual burnout as it’s so short lived - there may be something else triggering it which you can’t see right now because you are so drained otherwise. I hope that makes sense! I didn’t want you to think I’d just ignored the difficulty of being a parent!

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