Dislike hearing my own name or saying other peoples

[WhisperingAutistic]

Does anyone else have this?

When I hear my own name, I inwardly cringe. I also get a similar feeling if I have to call someone by their name too.
I don't like the shortened versions of it either, or even using a different name altogether.

I don't even think it's the name itself because even if I'm addressed by a pet name, I get the same feeling.

Even worse is when people use it continuously when talking to you.

I googled it and quite a few other autistic people say they feel the same.

Yes! I hate it so much! I feel like the standard advice for building rapport with people is to use their names to make them feel important, and I wish that would stop because it instantly makes me like somebody less if they use my name loads 😂 I dunno what it is but I have what feels like a genuine physical reaction to it.

Luckily I don’t mind nicknames so much, but I think that’s because anybody that has given me a nickname I already feel comfortable around.

It is a physical reaction isn't it. I genuinely recoil 🙈 I've no idea why
I didn't like it as a child either.

I'm like this in some ways. I quite like my first name and don't mind hearing it, but not in the repeated way you mention. That always strikes me as the other person being insincere, trying to be too chummy. It also makes me feel as if they think I'm a bit stupid, that I might somehow forget my own name if they don't keep saying it.

Re other people's names, I'm okay saying them to get their attention, say in a work situation where I need to ask them something. But I find it very difficult saying the names of people close to me when speaking to them. It just feels so embarrassing for some reason. I've often found myself sort of trying to catch their eye to get their attention rather than saying their name. It makes no difference what I actually think of the name itself.

I even made up nicknames for my parents when I was a child and used them when speaking to or about them. I changed the nicknames sometimes. They didn't seem to mind so no harm done, but it's something that continued for the rest of their lives.

There's a similar thread to this somewhere on this board. I remember coming across it shortly after finding the board and having a jolt of recognition.

YES!

I can't stand people saying my name - it feels so awkward. I hate giving my name. The guy in Starbucks the other day said it many many times - no idea whether it was new 'say people's names lots they like it' training, or just him.

I can't stand being called 'mrs surname' or 'auntie firstname' either - sorry niblings!

I go by a shortening of my first name, which I like, but never have the confidence to say it when people ask my name, so I always end up being called by the cumbersome first name that I hate. Yay.

I never thought of this being an Autistic thing, I hate calling my husband by his name, I rarely do it. And it's as rare that he calls me by mine.

I don't mind so much it in official capacity.

Yeah I don't mind it so much at the doctors for example

Yes! I go by a different name to my actual name, but I hate both being used. I find it weirdly passive aggressive and I take offense.

Wow, I didn't know that this was a ND thing but I feel exactly the same! I find it weird when people use my name and struggle to use others' names.

I sort of flinch when I hear my DH referring to me by my name eg if he were talking to someone about me and saying 'oh yes, AshGirl does that too'

How odd! Same. Have always cringed slightly at using someone’s name unless I am really close to them - close friend, partner level - otherwise I feel just…..weird saying names. I also have an inner squirm hearing my own name, which I’d always thought stemmed from being in trouble when someone used it. It’s so familiar to feel that way now I almost don’t notice it, but it’s there.

Yessss I've had this my whole life and didn't link it to being autistic until recently. I remember having my name (along with other people's names, I wasn't being singled out) read out in an assembly at primary school and my face burning with embarrassment. I also got disproportionately angry whenever I heard that Mambo No.5 song because my name is sung repeatedly - it made me so embarrassed I wanted to cry. I actually like my name and always have, I just hate hearing people say it.

Similarly, one of my long-running rants has been that TV characters use each other's names in direct speech, even when they're the only other person in the room. I've always found it weird and nobody has agreed with me.

I've never been able to say other people's first names. Even if I desperately need to get their attention, their name sticks in my throat and I can't say it. A few months ago I found myself walking behind my own brother in the street and I was too embarrassed to say his name to get his attention

I totally relate to everything you wrote.
My name is also in a very successful song, I won't name it because it's the only one in the song. I hated it so much.

Ha! My name is in a song too!

My ds's name is in a very famous and well loved song and people often sing it to him - he can't stand it. He is also autistic. I have often said to him that at least his name is in a cool song (the song my name is in is not cool - or at least I don't think is is). I hadn't made the link between this and autism, so will be more sympathetic in future (although he uses people's names a lot in conversation - I am now wondering whether he's been told to at school or something!).

Omg yes!! It never occurred to me that this might be ASD related. I find it so weird.

I honestly thought it was just a really weird thing about myself! Never would I have thought it was related to asd! I don’t mind so much if somebody close to me uses my name to get my attention, as in just saying “falalalalalalalala” (but my real name) followed by what they were going to say but I still would prefer them not to. I do however HATE it when people use my name towards me within conversation or when somebody says my name to somebody else in front of me.

Oh my gosh, yes yes yes to everyone!! Especially @amusedbush except, rather than a song, I share a name with an extremely globally popular TV character from the 90s. Excruciating!