Virtual decluttering group

[MinorityNeuroType]

Hi!

I really need to declutter, however I am finding it hard due to various (mainly ND related) issues.

Does anyone know of a virtual decluttering group that I could join? Or failing that, would anyone be interested in joining a small group if I set one up?

This is mainly for accountability/body doubling/motivational support.

Since I'd be moving around (to clear, put things away etc), a lot of the virtual co-working sites won't work since you need to stay on camera. Also, I am not too keen having my camera on unless I have got to know people first, or am in a formally hosted group.

Maybe something like a WhatsApp group would do the job? Just a little note about what we plan to do and see if we can find someone else that needs a check-in half an hour later (or some other timeframe to suit) and a pic of work achieved or a little message at the end of the session. Do you think this could work?

I am not on FB or any other social media at the moment, so would prefer a group where that is not necessary (e.g Zoom, WA, Teams etc).

Thanks for any ideas or tips etc.

House keeping board on Mumsnet. Decluttering and hoarders threads. Both really good.

Hi BlackeyedSusan!

Thanks for the tip, will check it out. Wanted to try on ND board first because I think we often have a slightly different approach to organising and clutter etc. I am also a bit nervous of people being judgey, or of nasty comments on other boards tbh. The ND board always seems unwaveringly kind and friendly.

Thanks.

If there is a current Dana White / A Slob Comes Clean / Slob thread running, that approach I find incredibly ND friendly. She seems to explain all the blanks that neurotypical people magically fill in but we don't (and get bewildered by how methods don't work), AND she notices the blanks that we tend to fill in (erroneously) and explain those too. She calls this "slob brain" affectionately - I don't think originally that she realised that it's basically ND people who think this way, she just thinks of it as naturally messy / naturally tidy.

Like for example, most people would declutter by making three piles: Keep, throw, donate/sell. Then they would throw away the rubbish, sort the donate/sell and go and put away all the keep stuff.

ND person: gets distracted and leaves 5 piles on the floor. A week later, all the piles are completely muddled and the space is even messier than it was to begin with. OR spends weeks intending to donate the stuff to the "perfect" cause, but it's only open one hour on a Friday and is hard to get to and in the meantime people spot it and take bits back out and use them so they can't be donated. OR gets paralysed wondering where to put things after you have decided to keep them OR sticks them in a box to be hidden away somewhere. (Or any number of other fails for the pile method).

So she says, although it seems inefficient, when you're decluttering you need 2 things: Your own feet and a rubbish bag. Throw away any rubbish immediately, and anything you want to keep, think about where you'd look for it if you wanted it, and take it there right now. Anything to donate, take immediately to donate box/bag, which she says you should have available at all times, because decluttering is not a one time thing that you can do once and have it be done forever, it's an ongoing process like cleaning/tidying/washing and is part of the natural life cycle of objects in your home. Also love her container concept and clutter threshold.

I don't do that well with groups but I put her podcast on in the background when I'm cleaning - I started at the beginning, and then got her book once I realised that her approach really speaks to me - and I find this is kind of company/encouragment/reminder of what I'm trying to do.

In fact I might go and look for a thread like that and if there are none, bump an old one or start a new one.

Thanks for those suggestions BertieBotts!

I have come across Dana from A Slob Comes Clean, but tbh the video I watched just made me super anxious because I was channeling her anxiety and intensity. Some of the methods make sense to me though, so I might try to watch a couple more before giving up on her.

The Minimalist Mom has fab videos and advice, even though I do not want to live in such a visually stripped down environment, I do want the insides of her cupboards!. She is very calm (usually) and has tons of good tips, especially about mindset and routines. Simple and sensible. She actually has a fb group which I would pay for (unheard for me!), but I am not on fb because I can't face all the crap that can come with it which my brain is unable to filter out.

I am not on any social media for this reason. WA is ok because less intrusive for me - hardly have any messages, am only on minimal groups (Billy Nearly No Mates At All autist/adhd here) but it does make me sad. This is why I wanted to join a small non fb group or even start one myself. I could do with the contact and mutual bursts of accountability/body doubling with people who get ND issues, and who are kind and not judgey.

That reply got a lot longer than intended. Being brief is also not a strength of mine. I also had to go back and correct spellings a few times after previewing. Argh! Why can I not control my brain!?

Thanks again.

I didn't warm to her videos, but the podcast does have the same manic, disorganised feeling. I like this, but if you don't, it doesn't get better.

The book might be a good way to access the tips without the tone?

Or a lot of people prefer K.C. Davis - maybe try her? @domesticblisters

The hoarders one on housekeeping was full of Nd people at one point.

Or we could just start one on here.