ADHD - newbie questions

[comeondover]

Hi. I'm considering seeking an assessment for ADHD and have a few basic questions that I hope it's ok to ask. If there's an ADHD 101 somewhere, please point me to it.

-are symptoms something that can fluctuate with eg stress or hormonal changes? Last year was incredibly stressful and I'm facing the menopause, and the symptoms that lead me to wonder if I have ADHD are much more pronounced.

-what should I look for in an assessor? Can anyone recommend particular assessors (if it's ok to ask that)?

-meds - are they taken long term or can they be ad hoc?

-what proportion of people with a diagnosis take meds vs don't take meds?

-are there any upsides to having ADHD? (genuine question, hope it's not fatuous)

PS I should have said - I'm considering a private assessment to speed up the process. I've dithered so long that now that I've more or less decided to do it, I want to do it asap. I've seen some hair-raising costs, but some clarity would be invaluable.

I was diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago. I don’t take any medication though I was advised to by the psychiatrist. I’m tempted to try it but not sure I really wanted. Though I’m finding things harder at the moment so I don’t know. I came off contraception a year ago and only found out the other day that they can make a big difference so that might explain it a bit. Stress etc can definitely make symptoms fluctuate and they’re different for everyone. DSiS with (undiagnosed) ADHD keeps an almost pristine home and mine is the total opposite. She has it possibly more than me too, very odd.

Thanks @Excited101. Sorry to hear you're finding things are harder atm

Yes, hormones can absolutely affect ADHD, although this is a very new area of study, you will find many anecdotes from women saying their monthly cycle and even hormonal birth control can affect the severity of symptoms. Also the "baby brain" in pregnancy ans postpartum and peri fog are thought to be hormonal and are similar to ADHD symptoms.

No idea about assessment as I live abroad.

Some people take medication every day, others as and when they need to, but it would normally be long term - it's a bit like wearing glasses, you can't "train" your brain with medication. No idea on total stats. Some doctors are quite keen on medication being for work or school, so if you don't work, then you can sometimes have a time trying to convince them to prescribe them to you. There are benefits of medication in all parts of life though, because ADHD affects all parts of life.

Upsides for me are creativity, lateral/"outside the box" thinking, quick moving brain, thousands of ideas, great at problem solving, we tend to make friends easily (though may struggle to keep them, unless they are also neurodiverse) and be considered fun/good company. We tend to love riddles and learning and be endlessly curious. So many times someone has asked a question on MN and I've gone off on a rabbit hole researching the answer. (I always share it with them!) We can often see both sides of an issue at once, which can make us seem like fence sitters/devil's advocate or even two-faced, but I don't think these are correct, I think it's a strength that we have. I think we are also likely to push past things like "that's how it's always been done" and ask why/what's the benefit/root reason/full story.

Not everyone believes that ADHD can have strengths but that's what I believe.

Hi,

Late diagnosed ADHDer here via private assessment after being peri-menopausal and that intensifying what I now know to be ADHD (and suggested autism but awaiting formal diagnosis of that).

So, yep, hormones have a massive impact on ADHD symptoms and a large number of late diagnosed women are around menopausal age for this reason. It just becomes overwhelming. There is also a larger number of ADHD women with PMDD...

I'm on week 3 of meds (Elvanse), and the first 2 weeks have been a bit meh. I can tell a bit of a difference but think I'll need more than I'm on now 40mgs (you can titrate up to 70). I decided to try meds to see what the difference was and if I would then want to take them long term. I wanted to know how both ways felt and then decided.

I'm not sure I can say who my private provider was in case it's seen as "selling" on here but happy to let you know in a DM as I would recommend them.

@BertieBotts @EastLifer
Thanks both for responding, it helps.

Bertie, I share nearly all your upsides, apart from the sociability factor. I'd never have thought of most of them as being related to adhd so that's interesting.

EastLifer, yes please, I'd be grateful for a DM with a recommendation- thank you.

BTW, I've only just noticed that DM means at least 3 things round these parts... direct message... dear mother... daily fail

Hi, I’m just thinking about getting a diagnosis too, if you’re still around and able to dm me the details also I’d be really grateful!

Yes, @EastLifer , me three please.

@BertieBotts I love the list of upsides, a lot resonate for me! :)

I am having counselling with a psychiatrist who has 'informally' diagnosed ADHD, based on all that I've been sharing in our sessions and also HOW I've been sharing - motormouth, over-labouring my points, and sort of talking myself in circles.

I got a great University degree 2 decades ago and have not translated that into a 'successful' career,often experience overwhelm and paralysis, fail to self-care. Apparently this is a pattern for presentation in women?

I'm 42 so wonder if peri-menopause might be a reason things are coming to a head now, as above? But also this is the first time I've had contact with an expert in neurodiversity who is seeing me through this lens.

I'd love to know for those with a diagnosis, if it 'helps'? Or is it just comforting to know there is a reason for the struggle?

Many thanks!

I’m the same as you @WoolyMammoth55 I’m autistic too and I think that hides some of the adhd symptoms. I have just started therapy after my mum died with a therapist specialising in neurodiversity and she has just suggested adhd too. I’m interested in what the drugs might do, it’s gotta be better than drinking!

@WoolyMammoth55 I have DMd you.

I am also autistic but only found out at my ADHD assessment!

Snap!!

For me, I think a diagnosis would help me to have more self-compassion, to know that my traits aren't a moral failing on my part. But I suppose I could choose compassion anyway, diagnosis or not.

I do find my meds don't have such a significant positive effect in the week leading up to my period. I don't feel as clear headed as I can usually feel on them. But my moods are much less erratic and PMS lows are rarer (my emotional dysregulation was quite extreme and having undiagnosed ADHD was making me quite depressed so that's one of my main improvements I'm seeing with treatment right now).

I went through the NHS and waited about three years from first going to my GP to actually getting a specialist psychiatrist to prescribe meds (diagnosed about a year before I could actually get treatment). It was definitely worth it for me. I really have new hope for the future now.

I plan to take meds long term if I can, everyday. I stopped when I had COVID, to protect my heart just in case, and I really noticed the difference. My psychiatrist had no qualms about prescribing while I was out of work either. Living with ADHD is a 24/7 thing for me and treatment was key to getting me back into work.

No idea the proportion of people who don't take meds after diagnosis. I do have a friend who was diagnosed as a kid and never took anything because she's quite against it, but I see her struggle to manage work and stay on top of things and I wonder if she would benefit from them now. But obvs it's not my place to say that, just something I've noticed.

I don't know of any upsides to having ADHD. I'm working hard on accepting myself, and undoing decades of trauma from self- and outside criticism that resulted from how untreated ADHD made me behave, and I really wish I didn't ever have it but it is what it is. It has affected my whole life, and my choices, and my relationships, and my lack of them, and I abor the doctor who dismissed my mother's concerns when I was a kid. But at least now I have an explanation for how I am, and can be honest with myself and others about how I struggle, so I hope the future will be less difficult than the past and I can somehow make up for all I've missed.

Thanks for sharing @NowDoYouBelieveMe, I find your story really inspiring - I'm so sorry that you've had such a rough time though.

Can I ask what meds you take please? And how long did it take you to find the right dose?

Very best wishes to you, great that you have so much more clarity now <3

Thank you. There's a lot to process after diagnosis as an adult so I'm currently looking into psychotherapy for that.

I take 72mg Concerta daily. I've been medicated since the end of last year, and have just been increasing the dose by 18mg every month since then. So I'm still not sure I'm on the right dose but my psychiatrist said she hopes by the end of the summer we'll have it figured out.

The diagnosis REALLY helped me with the validation thing. I don't know why because I suspected that I had it for about 2 years before I went for the appointment, but it just seemed to change everything.

I had suffered basically since my teens with what other people called anxiety/depression but what felt to me like chronic failure/why am I so shit mode.

That has now all gone. I have moments of frustration or jealousy of people not dealing with this but in general I just accept, everyone has their challenges, this is mine.

@NowDoYouBelieveMe I too hope that your future will be easier than your past. I'm sorry things have been so difficult, though, and that it took so long to get to the point of diagnosis and understanding.
I haven't read it, but Scattered Minds by Dr Gabor Maté comes to mind. Have you read it? He has adhd himself and is a very compassionate writer/doctor/etc.

@EastLifer I'd really appreciate a DM too please.

I'm knee deep in perimenopause at the moment and definitely have come to realise that ADHD has been in the background for a while. The hormones or lack of have definitely exacerbated other issues I always had but now just don't feel able to mask or cope with.

I met up with an old teacher friend yesterday and she is 70, we talked about our symptoms and she's only just realised that she very likely suffers from ADHD. She spent years thinking she was stupid (and being told that). We compared notes and so many similarities. I actually cried after seeing her, thinking that at least at 47 I'm understanding myself better and being forgiving but I can't imagine getting to 70 and only just connecting the dots. It's heartbreaking