If you have/suspect an autism diagnosis as an adult, what were your school reports like?

[caaamhs]

I don't have a diagnosis, only suspect ASD.

I got my school reports out today and they're full of words like 'conscientious', 'diligent' etc - and repeated suggestions that I should speak up more, contribute to oral discussion and gain more confidence. I was always in the top sets and predicted (and achieved) all A/A at GCSE. But aound Y10/11 I started really struggling with elements of school and in particular GCSE revision. I essentially clocked out and gave up. Luckily I was someone who found exams easy and felt like I had the 'code' to getting good grades, so while I felt all over the place and lost interest in school, my grades didn't suffer. A level was very up and down but ultimately came out with great grades again. Honestly if I'd 'applied' myself I probably would have got all A grades (my best friend expressed surprise on results day that I hadn't).

Anyway, I found on YouTube from a woman with a late autism and ADHD diagnosis where she reads through her reports. And mine, especially during primary, were almost exactly the same.

Does this resonate with anyone else?

Sorry for formatting, the two A* created some accidental bold! 🙄

I can't watch the video right now because of kids charging around making noise, but will have a look a bit later.

My reports in primary were similar to yours. I was a 'joy to know, a delight to teach and a pleasure to have in the class' as my mum often quotes! However I had no friends, never spoke up in class and during free play time in infants I would be sat at my desk waiting for the work to start again.

I followed exactly the same pattern as you in secondary school. My reports gradually get worse and worse every year, and by year 11 my teachers were despairing! My art teacher expressed fears I was on drugs, my history teacher said he was unable to comment on the quality of my course work because I never did any, and all my teachers commented on the fact that I was hardly ever in school anyway.

Similar to you, I knew the formula for passing school exams so I achieved A-C grades on everything at GCSE before burning out completely in my first year of A levels and ending up in a psychiatric unit.

What I can't understand about this, and I don't know if this was the same for you, is why no one seemed to care. Teachers nagged me to get better grades and work harder, but no one ever took the time to sit me down and gently ask what was going on with me. I would love to think that it's different now for undiagnosed autistic kids, but I suspect not.

My reports were largely the same. Very bright, hard working, but quiet and on the edge of the social group. Basically the other girls let me hang around with them because my mum was friendly with their mums and they were told to be nice. But they never invited me to any activities they did together outside of school.

By secondary school the other girls were less under parental control and no longer felt obliged to put up with me because their mums said so. They just excluded me. So my school reports said I was bright and achieved highly but was totally isolated and it was worrying. If it was worrying then why didn’t they do something about it?! I remember at parents evening one teacher got really angry with my mum, saying it wasn’t healthy for me to isolate myself - as if I was doing it by choice. Then another teacher said don’t worry, it’s ok for her to be alone if that’s what she likes. So I felt even worse because I didn’t like it. Not one of these teachers noticed that I was being forcibly excluded or tried to help me.

On my last day at secondary school a teacher said to me “I bet you’re incredibly happy to be leaving this place forever”. So he had clearly noticed that I was unhappy and being excluded but again chose to do nothing about it for the entire five years that I was there.

Mine were very similar, together with comments like "mature young lady". Except for PE which I was useless at and dreaded - one report read "lacks coordination". Only had one good Drama report, after I'd somehow managed to throw off my customary self-consciousness.

Started really struggling during A levels, I think because they were less structured and my school wasn't very academic in its focus, whereas I was:-) By then I was also anorexic. Seriously considered leaving halfway through but didn't and ended up getting, jointly with another pupil, the highest grades in the school that year. Until the last few months of A levels I just hated school, which of course no-one believed because I got such good grades, but oddly I quite enjoyed it towards the end, even though I worried constantly about how well I'd do. It wasn't just that the end was in sight. I think it was because those last months were more structured and pressured, partly as we were behind on covering the syllabus. As the pace of work increased, I felt more able to cope, which sounds contradictory, but it was if things were finally going at the right speed for me.

Always knew I didn't want to go to university, so A levels remain the high point of my academic "career"...

I don't know what mine said. I was never allowed to read them.

I was always bunking off though (high school), I didn't cope at all with school. I was on report regularly but I still didn't turn up. I hated ever minute of it and struggled so much despite being academically able.

I do have memories of primary school where I didn't know what exactly was being asked of me, or what the teacher had just explained, but I was never able to communicate this to them.

Academically able but not applying herself
Daydreamer

I left school at the start of year 9 as I couldn't understand a lot of the teaching and was getting into arguments with teachers about it

Got sent to a PRU but refused to go there as they were teaching things like 'life skills' - how to use a washing machine etc which I'd been doing since very young.

talks too much, very clever, doesn't apply herself, coasting, truant.... nobody cared about loud children that got bored and distractrd easily, couldn't take info in after awhile, overwhelmed by lights, noise and movement to the point of avoiding school. Twas the 80s and 90s afterall :(

I don’t have a diagnosis - I’m wondering about myself and score highly on all the self-administered tests. My school reports are essentially ‘lives in a world of her own’ comments about my apparent laziness and lack of application. School was hellish due to bullying and severe maths problems. I excelled at English and writing, my verbal IQ was high, I just fell through all the cracks.

Yes, similar. Bright, serious - my favourite is 'when working in a group situation, if things do not go to plan or others do not have the same workmanlike attitude, she gets upset' 😂.

I fell apart in secondary school - I couldn't cope with social side of things at all and was truant a lot. I still did ok in my GCSE's. I can't sustain the level of focus needed for the length of time needed for A Levels and have dropped out of them three time...I do have a degree but didn't hand in my very last assignment and therefore got a 'pass', rather than the 2:1 I should have got. I got a first for my dissertation and then flipping fell at the last hurdle.

I am not diagnosed but probably have ASD and ADHD - the latter rules the roost I think.

The teachers definitely said I was "conscientious" in my reports for the last 2 years of primary school. I remember thinking it was funny that different teachers had used the same word 2 years running.
And almost every year of primary (a different teacher each year) said I had "come out of my shell." Clearly code for 'very noticeably shy/ reserved/ stand-offish, but this was a bit less notable by the end of the year.'

Secondary school reports were formulaic, but I did very well academically until the age 16 exams, then it went downhill after that as they expected you to be able to plan your own studying more, and as my mental health broke down with the struggle of coping with life.

And yeah, no teacher ever tried to work out what the problem was.
(Everyone did have to have an interview with our assigned pastoral care teacher in the first year, to see how we were settling in, but I was terrified of her and masked like hell! She asked what my favourite subject was and I panicked and tried to think what I'd heard other pupils say theirs was- so told her it was P.E. which was actually my LEAST favourite subject!)

Oh and lots of "Needs to talk more in class discussions, group work etc" and "Needs to be more confident."

“Has so much potential but needs to apply herself more” x500… 😅

Lots of comments about being precocious or mature and thoughtful. I wanted to be pals with my favourite teachers more than anyone else.

I just coasted through everything because I quite literally said “these exams are just a rung on a ladder and I only need good enough results to get on the next rung”