Anyone else find yourself permanently excluded and just disliked?

[cocopops11]

At heart I'm actually quite a friendly and extroverted type of person but due to being mistreated so often, I've become quite introverted. For much of my life, I was always the one making all the effort in friendships, but I just find however nice I am to people, I'm just not liked. I attend a weekly group on Wednesdays and the others in it all stay in touch outside of it and I'm never included so that's made me not want to bother going back.

Somedays I just feel like giving up because I feel so lonely and I just feel like an observer of life and like I will never be a part of that world. Can anyone relate or is it just me being too sensitive?

I’ve tried loads of hobbies and it’s always the same. People hug and stay in touch outside of the hobby, and arrange outings etc. I’m never hugged or included in outside activities. And it’s not because they all know each other - new people join and within a few months they’re being greeted with a hug and included in activities.

I don’t think it has anything to do with being nice though. You can be incredibly nice but if people find you weird or freaky they’ll still avoid you. I’ve given up trying - people just don’t like me, end of.

Being a single parent of disabled kids doesn't help either.

I have found acceptance in some groups in some churches, which one would assume from their supposed beliefs, should be more accepting. (The Through the Roof charity looks helpful for that)

I think we need to socialise with our own neurotribe as I've heard it called. (Can't think of a better word, tell me if there is one please)

We are slightly different. Not sure if telling people we are autistic (or ADHD) would help?

Yes, i feel I anger people/make them nervous/scared? Idk but I just can't make friends or people happy. No matter what I try. I think they just sense the oddness/difference in me.

even online, I commented on a thread earlier light hearted (under a different username I actually dereg'd then came back after like 5mins😂 as it upset me) about something lighthearted and even my wording got picked apart, I can't express myself well even online and it angers people.

I've cried so many tears over this, I'm ready to live in the mountains as a hermit at this point.

I can relate. Life can be so lonely sometimes.

You express yourself just fine.

Considering lots of NT people don't say what they mean, nor mean what they say they have a bloody cheek to say we have communication difficulties!

Hang round here more.

Nothing wrong with your expression or wording of posts. There are some nasty people on this forum who just get off on targeting people for fun.

@cocopops11 - I get where you're coming from. Often we just don't seem to 'fit'. It took me decades to reconcile with this, but now I don't give a toss. If people like me, and we are friends, they gain a loyal, caring friend. To the ones who don't like me, I don't want them in my life anyway 😂

I embrace my difference and accept I'm weird.