Do you find people interrupt you when you are talking?

[ofwarren]

I don't mask my speech style or content any more, and never will but I find that people interrupt me because they either think I'm done or they say 'what?' when I haven't even finished the sentence.

I must pause in an incorrect place I think.
It's not even just strangers, even my kids do it to me so it must be quite obvious.

I don't think it's my volume because it happens when I try and speak louder too.

Does this happen to anyone else?

Hi OP. I'm not sure if I've been aware of that, but I find it really difficult trying to be heard. Not because I talk quietly but because I'm just 'insignificant'
So I could be within a group of colleagues and I'll take a turn to speak or tells story and people will either appear not to hear me or they'll talk amongst themselves and over me. I feel very invisible a lot of the time.

I think it's a bit of that too with me.
My youngest is only 6 and today he said, "nobody ever listens to me, even on my table at school. They don't hear my voice" 😔

that's sad to hear. They've probably explained it better than I have. Does your dc have ND, or suspected?

I hope someone is along soon to answer your original OP.

My other 2 children do, I'm not sure about the 6 year old so far.

I often find what I want to say is in two parts. I say the first part, then pause to see if they have understood - thus giving them an in! Then I forget what the second part, which contains the actual point, is.

(Hope you can follow that...)

Oh, maybe that's happening too.
I think it's a mixture
It's so frustrating though. I start saying something and sometimes, mid word, the other person says "what?"

I have a lifelong history of finding out that "friends" have been talking behind my back about how boring am I, how I drone on and on, etc. That has made me self-conscious but I truly don't know any other way to communicate.

My speech pattern is odd, I over-explain everything and my brain gets jumbled so I basically figure out what I'm wanting to say while I'm already saying it. It's like a verbal version of "show your working" in maths

My struggles become really apparent in groups. I'll either be talked over mid-sentence (at which point RSD kicks in and I vow to never speak again) or I'll spend a whole interaction wondering when I should interject, miss my opening and then the conversation has moved on. Or I announce something unrelated and bring it to a crashing halt. Or - and this happens Every. Single. Time. I'm in a large group setting - I end up sitting right in between two smaller groups but not involved in either conversation, and nobody bothers to bring me in. At that point I tend to go and stand in a corner by myself.

OMG, I think we are twins!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could have written your post. Well, could have if I had the capacity to articulate it, so thank you for your perfect explanation and for the bird picture. It made me laugh out loud 😂😂😂

I'm glad it's not just me!

I didn't realise until recently that I script every planned interaction to within an inch of its life, even just preparing to phone my brother to ask a question, or to phone the bank. What's worse is I do it out loud, which I also didn't notice until DH came downstairs and asked who I was talking to

I can't be trusted to just wing it in conversation, though. Last week I was in Tesco and a sales assistant said "oh dear, you got the squeaky trolley then?" and I said, "yeah, I'll never make it as an assassin at this rate"

Oh, this is me too! But far better explained than I could manage. For important conversations I've taken to planning what I want to say to the extent of writing out whole sentences / paragraphs on my phone beforehand so I cover all the points I want to make - else I get flustered/distracted and go off on tangents.

Been reading this very helpful board for the last few weeks as I'm beginning to wonder whether I might be ND. Would make sense of quite a bit.

@amusedbush The way you describe your speech pattern and extreme planning etc are what I do too.
I also often worry that I'm talking too loudly so tone it down, only to then realise I wasn't and that people can't hear me properly.
That bird picture has cheered me right up, as has the Tesco anecdote!

Amusedbush

This is me too! I have diagnosed adhd but I've been wondering if there's anything else underlying. I've always had the struggles that you describe.

Also, I can't see a bird picture!!! I want to see it! (I'm on the app)

Here is the image address of the bird meme, hopefully this works for you: ugc-assets.mumsnet.com/images/202302/large-KW645uojkzflFIUxan5mMwLMqAyw8rLScjrpBSZg.jpg

@amusedbush I love the notion of an assassin hampered by squeaky trolley wheels. My quirky brain is supplying a whole storyline for that involving stealthy murder with a well-aimed baguette. 😆

If you'd made that assassin comment to me I would've laughed out loud and thought you were quick witted. I can rarely think of a good response to a stranger's small talk and usually just have to chuckle politely and walk away.

Snap! I completely identified with the situation @amusedbush described. Right down to being in the middle of two groups and wondering how to edge into one of them, and not wanting to be a bother or make the 'wrong' choice somehow... so awkward.

I'm at the very start of assessment journey for ASD. I have about 30 notes on my phone at any one time that I've written to help me prepare for conversations - or writing down what I want to say to someone and then not actually saying it. Also many, many drafts that would be MN or other forum posts but I am too afraid of being piled on or saying something wrong to ever post them. I do try to go through these and delete them but then usually end up editing and adding more instead 😂

Feeling quite brave for actually posting a comment on a thread. I feel safer and less alone here than on most boards. Thanks all.

@Tigertealeaves It does seem a nice board, doesn't it? Its so affirming to recognize myself in so many posts here. At my ripe old (middle) age I'm beginning to see that maybe I don't need to keep trying to improve/change myself (ie be the person I thought I should be), I am not a failure, I am just wired differently. It's so liberating.

PS Good luck with your assessment!

@agnesmartin thank you! Definitely finding middle age comes with more self acceptance, whether with a label attached or not.