My DS (6) has handled the world differently to his siblings since he was a baby. The older he gets, the more convinced I get that he is neurodivergent. ADHD? Autism spectrum? I don’t know. I approached school about it and they said no way, with a laugh.
He behaves “perfectly” at school - he’s the sort of kid who likes other kids, is really popular, and likes doing well at school. He was the same at nursery.
But at home he is not like that!
Here are some examples of his behaviour at home:
-has to sleep in our bed, and is frequently up and down all night
-wakes up making a sort of high pitched squeaking noise: makes this all day with us, but never around other children (who aren’t his siblings) or other adults
-does not sit still: can’t sit and eat a meal without dancing about, tapping his foot or fingers etc
-hits and punches and pinches if he has any overwhelming feeling (usually me or one of his brothers), this happens a lot during a day
-he’s totally allergic to boredom! Can’t solo play and therefore whines and whines and whines if he’s “bored” and then starts destroying things if I say no to screens
-doesn’t walk: instead skips, dances, runs, kicks a stone along like its a football
-hates transitions and will scream and cry if made to do anything (clean teeth, go out)
-becomes obsessed with things. When he was younger it’d be one movie that he’d request over and over again. Now it’s Pokémon (it’ll be something else soon). Talks about nothing else, begs to play it every single hour of the day.
The reason why typically he doesn’t present as autistic is: he definitely makes eye contact easily, he’s really good at understanding how to make friends and to please his teachers at school. He’s very popular and loves being around other children. He’s very empathetic, too. If I look sad (when watching a sad Pixar film, or when something has happened) he’s the first to notice and hug me.
Maybe I just have a “big feelings” child and I’m trying to put a label on him that doesn’t exist? He is, and always has been, a real challenge to parent and DH and I argue a lot on how to parent him and because of how exhausting and stressful parenting him is. I wonder if a “label” might help give us some insights and clues on how to do it better! But then, a label might follow him about and define him when he doesn’t need defining? I don’t know.