Is my diagnosis wrong??

[WasIWrongAllTheseYears]

Would really appreciate some advice. I responded to another thread where the OP was describing her symptoms of potential neuro diversity and mood problems as I'm bipolar. I looked up more info autism/adhd side. Then spent the evening in floods of tears as the descriptions of autism in women sound like me, and the stuff I'd put down to bipolar, and I had no idea.

How do I know whether this is messed-up-bipolar thinking or something i should investigate? Am I clutching at straws to "explain" why I've always felt like an outsider? And apologies if asking this is insensitive to people who do have a diagnosed condition.

Context: I was a painfully shy girl who was a maths geek, struggled to make friends and was a tomboy. I buried myself in classical music. I struggled at college as the social side was overwhelming, I didn't fit in and couldn't manage my depression and ED. That pattern continued in my 20s but I got heavily into endurance sport which helped. I was diagnosed bipolar at about 30. Now in my 40s, I've done loads of work to manage moods and fit in socially but I have few friends and am rubbish at relationships. I can be extrovert for bit but need solitary time to recover and spend most of my time alone outdoors. I'd assumed I couldn't be ND as I'm high performing at work, I crave a close friendship and I'm really affected by other people's moods rather than being fully antisocial. I'm not big on routine either - I get bored easily and procrastinate loads.

Should I look into whether my bipolar diagnosis is wrong/incomplete?

[TheOriginalEmu]

Many female autistics are diagnosed as bipolar. I was. My mother was. My sister was. It’s only when my son was diagnosed with ASD that his doctor suggested I look at being diagnosed. So yes. Definitely look into it.

[toffee1000]

Not all autistic people are antisocial individuals who don’t want friends. It can be like you say, wanting friends but being socially awkward/not really making any.
Autistic people can do really well at work too, it depends on the job and the general environment.

[WasIWrongAllTheseYears]

Thanks both, much appreciated. Lots to think about. Off to do some research...

[MumofOne1789]

Potentially. Autistic people can long for close relationships but not know or unable to form them.

A lot of what you describe sounds similar to me. I perform well at work, a bit of a geek. Always felt like I don’t fit in. But also don’t mind if I don’t have routine etc. I am not diagnosed but suspect I am autistic. Do some research and seek formal diagnosis is you think it’ll help.