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Is my diagnosis wrong??
WasIWrongAllTheseYears · 04/02/2023 22:50
Would really appreciate some advice. I responded to another thread where the OP was describing her symptoms of potential neuro diversity and mood problems as I'm bipolar. I looked up more info autism/adhd side. Then spent the evening in floods of tears as the descriptions of autism in women sound like me, and the stuff I'd put down to bipolar, and I had no idea.
How do I know whether this is messed-up-bipolar thinking or something i should investigate? Am I clutching at straws to "explain" why I've always felt like an outsider? And apologies if asking this is insensitive to people who do have a diagnosed condition.
Context: I was a painfully shy girl who was a maths geek, struggled to make friends and was a tomboy. I buried myself in classical music. I struggled at college as the social side was overwhelming, I didn't fit in and couldn't manage my depression and ED. That pattern continued in my 20s but I got heavily into endurance sport which helped. I was diagnosed bipolar at about 30. Now in my 40s, I've done loads of work to manage moods and fit in socially but I have few friends and am rubbish at relationships. I can be extrovert for bit but need solitary time to recover and spend most of my time alone outdoors. I'd assumed I couldn't be ND as I'm high performing at work, I crave a close friendship and I'm really affected by other people's moods rather than being fully antisocial. I'm not big on routine either - I get bored easily and procrastinate loads.
Should I look into whether my bipolar diagnosis is wrong/incomplete?
toffee1000 · 05/02/2023 05:37
Not all autistic people are antisocial individuals who don’t want friends. It can be like you say, wanting friends but being socially awkward/not really making any.
Autistic people can do really well at work too, it depends on the job and the general environment.
MumofOne1789 · 05/02/2023 13:23
Potentially. Autistic people can long for close relationships but not know or unable to form them.
A lot of what you describe sounds similar to me. I perform well at work, a bit of a geek. Always felt like I don’t fit in. But also don’t mind if I don’t have routine etc. I am not diagnosed but suspect I am autistic. Do some research and seek formal diagnosis is you think it’ll help.
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