Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features

This board exists primarily for the use of Neurodiverse Mumsnetters. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful.

Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

Is my diagnosis wrong??

4 replies

WasIWrongAllTheseYears · 04/02/2023 22:50

Would really appreciate some advice. I responded to another thread where the OP was describing her symptoms of potential neuro diversity and mood problems as I'm bipolar. I looked up more info autism/adhd side. Then spent the evening in floods of tears as the descriptions of autism in women sound like me, and the stuff I'd put down to bipolar, and I had no idea.

How do I know whether this is messed-up-bipolar thinking or something i should investigate? Am I clutching at straws to "explain" why I've always felt like an outsider? And apologies if asking this is insensitive to people who do have a diagnosed condition.

Context: I was a painfully shy girl who was a maths geek, struggled to make friends and was a tomboy. I buried myself in classical music. I struggled at college as the social side was overwhelming, I didn't fit in and couldn't manage my depression and ED. That pattern continued in my 20s but I got heavily into endurance sport which helped. I was diagnosed bipolar at about 30. Now in my 40s, I've done loads of work to manage moods and fit in socially but I have few friends and am rubbish at relationships. I can be extrovert for bit but need solitary time to recover and spend most of my time alone outdoors. I'd assumed I couldn't be ND as I'm high performing at work, I crave a close friendship and I'm really affected by other people's moods rather than being fully antisocial. I'm not big on routine either - I get bored easily and procrastinate loads.

Should I look into whether my bipolar diagnosis is wrong/incomplete?

OP posts:

TheOriginalEmu · 04/02/2023 22:59

Many female autistics are diagnosed as bipolar. I was. My mother was. My sister was. It’s only when my son was diagnosed with ASD that his doctor suggested I look at being diagnosed. So yes. Definitely look into it.


toffee1000 · 05/02/2023 05:37

Not all autistic people are antisocial individuals who don’t want friends. It can be like you say, wanting friends but being socially awkward/not really making any.
Autistic people can do really well at work too, it depends on the job and the general environment.


WasIWrongAllTheseYears · 05/02/2023 09:38

Thanks both, much appreciated. Lots to think about. Off to do some research...

OP posts:

MumofOne1789 · 05/02/2023 13:23

Potentially. Autistic people can long for close relationships but not know or unable to form them.

A lot of what you describe sounds similar to me. I perform well at work, a bit of a geek. Always felt like I don’t fit in. But also don’t mind if I don’t have routine etc. I am not diagnosed but suspect I am autistic. Do some research and seek formal diagnosis is you think it’ll help.

Similar threads
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?