TW: self harm. Has anyone managed to stop? How?

[NeopreneMermaid]

I'm autistic and self harm during meltdowns; it's the only thing that helps. Has anyone ever managed to stop? And how?

Things I've tried: antidepressants (several; been on max dose of venlafaxine for a few years now), mindfulness, CBT, ASD group therapy, occupational therapy, aromatherapy, sensory profiling, changing my job/lifestyle, anxiety group therapy.

I exercise, eat well, sleep well, etc.

I used to hit my head so hard I'd see stars during these moments. I don't think there was one particular thing that stopped it but over several years of trauma focused therapy and eventually finding the right level of medication/understanding myself and what I need this has stopped. Sometimes I find myself almost at that point but can now redirect it. This probably isn't the most useful reply as but I just wanted to reach out to say to keep doing what you have been doing. You will find the thing that works for you. By trying these different things, even if they've not worked you're showing a commitment to yourself and you're wellbeing. You deserve a life where you don't have to go through these overwhelming moments and you will get there.
I think for me a lifetime of being misunderstood/neglected/bullied led me to internalise everything and in those meltdown moments I hated myself and punished myself. Punishment was the logical end point of being "bad". There's definitely a whole sensory element to and then the numbness after - that was my release from those things i couldnt cope with. I don't hate myself anymore and maybe that's the change that stopped it more than any of the practical sensory diversions etc?

Go for a run and run hard.

I find pain can be deeply regulating. It’s one of my go-to’s to help pull me back when I feel overwhelmed, before it gets to a meltdown.
Pain doesn’t have to mean the same thing as harm though.

I used to make myself bleed. I was covered in scabs and people thought I had a disease. I stopped by doing it more lightly. So whereas before I would have broken the skin, I forced myself to just scrape the skin without breaking it. Sometimes I’ll rub and scrape my skin for hours but I don’t make it bleed any more.

Agreed.

Or take up heavy lifting or something similar: enough to make you hurt, but in a healthy way.

Serotonin's a hell of a drug.

Oh, and keep your nails short.

Thank you all for sharing your experiences and very kind words, and sorry for not replying sooner. I've recently started HRT which seems to be helping. At least, I've not had the rage that exacerbates the frustration/sensory overload that triggers the self harm. Long may this continue.