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Lulianna · 20/01/2023 01:45
So I am newly diagnosed and was told at the meeting that I would be emotional, would need time to deal etc etc and very important to cry, let it all out for my health.
Apart from insomnia, I am not feeling anything, I don’t know how to feel. It’s like it is all behind a veil or curtain I can’t reach. I’m concerned because there’s a very good chance that I could have a massive meltdown at some point in the near future if I bottle it. And also I just can’t connect to my feelings over it. Except that I’m immeasurably sad I missed out on support in childhood and was made to feel crap and suffer hardships unnecessarily.
I don’t think any of my NT friends will get any of this, except that I feel stressed.
Not sure how to snap out of it.
Any experiences for anyone else re. Diagnosis. And how to connect with your feelings when a big thing happens in life?
WeirdPookah · 20/01/2023 13:52
My initial feelings were also sadness over the lost child nobody noticed, the possibilities missed, even if I am happy with my life I have now.
I am thankful my husband (also a late diagnosed Autistic) understood that I wasn't regretful, just feeling something it was impossible to reconcile. You can't know the what-ifs or might-haves so it feels really unsettling.
You are lost on a thought you can't think through!
All that helped me was time really. This isn't a lot of help, I just wanted to say I felt adrift as well.
AffIt · 25/01/2023 22:36
I was fucking FURIOUS for about two years after my diagnosis, but it took me six months to get there - in many ways, much like the way I felt when my father died when I was in my late teens.
In both instances, I never cried - that's not my thing.
You'll feel how you feel, OP, and you'll get there in your own time.
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