I'm always out of step with what people see as a normal thing to want to talk about - I don't really follow what's popular, I just do stuff I like. Which is always different from what most people like. I don't get pop culture references and people use these as a bonding thing a lot so I'm left out.
I am terrible for interrupting people. I just get excited and think I'll forget what I want to add/can't focus on the rest of the person's sentence because of the effort of remembering what I want to say. I like it when I find a friend who is happy for us both to talk over each other and we both have the skill of being able to hear the other's conversation while imparting our own. A lot of people can't do that, and find this annoying/rude.
I am not very good at the rules of conversation. I notice sometimes that people are getting bored and realise I've gone into way too much detail/too long on the same topic. I also return to topics once the subject has been changed, which you're not supposed to do, but I do this because I'm constantly getting distracted and I think it's an overcorrection.
My mind makes random jumps and people can't follow where I've gone to (unless they are also neurodivergent!)
I overshare. I also do that thing of recounting my own experience which in my head communicates that I totally understand what you're going through, because I went through something similar - this can apparently come across as self centred/merailing.
I have no sense of how long it's been since I last saw/spoke to/spent time with somebody so I will ignore them for months and then want to pick things up like it was last week. This works with some people and not at all with others. Many people will be suspicious and see this as "X only contacts me when they want something"
I struggle to initiate contact because of the before mentioned problem and because I forget people exist and I worry I am bothering people. I do best with group chats or something like a FB group for RL people or a regular meet up. I do not do well contacting people individually and arranging meet ups. This is too much executive functioning.
Also emotional instability in the form of rejection sensitivity (some online call this RSD) so I constantly worry I have upset someone or think I'm not really welcome. I'm a bit of a flake. I talk myself out of doing things. Then I realise I have a reputation for always cancelling at the last minute and I curse myself.
I am late for everything. I probably won't retain a friend very long if they are bothered by lateness.
I struggle with the "rules" for appearance and personal hygiene, so I'll go out with greasy hair or I'll forget to wear deodorant or I won't notice that my jumper has food down it. (Being clumsy doesn't help) This gives an impression to many people that there's something wrong with me. I rarely brush my hair. I have no clue about fashion. Sometimes I look at people and feel incredible awe that they have done so much to their appearance and they probably do that every day. I think I'll never have a professional job because of this and that makes me feel depressed.
I struggle with physically leaving the house sometimes for about 90% of the year because of sensory difficulties with temperature, brightness and wind. I just kind of have to get over this, but it tends to mean I don't go out and about just for the sake of it, I go places because I have to or because of a commitment. I also can't drive because of ADHD so I have to take public transport everywhere and this adds to the sensory overwhelm (temperature again, noise, motion sickness, time spent in my own head) which means I get really tired after doing one thing in a day, so I can't be a social butterfly flitting from one engagement to the next. I would love to be that person.
I go into a weird zone-out zombie state when I'm on my own (including in public, on a bus or something), particularly when I am tired (side note: do other people???) and it can be hard to transition from that into normal, charming, conversational - I'm sure this makes people think I'm weird or makes me come across like I'm stoned (I don't use any drugs) and is offputting.
I really like answering questions and knowing the answer. If somebody tells a joke or is humorously wondering about something, I can't help myself but answer it as though it is serious and this annoys people. If I know the answer to something somebody is wondering about, I have to tell them, it's like a compulsion. even if they are a complete stranger. People find this embarrassing. If I'm doing this online I often write a huge entire wall of text (LOL like this post) and/or I will have done an hour of google research and sometimes people don't want this level of response because it's overwhelming, annoying, confusing, patronising or whatever. Sometimes it gets a great, happy response and that's probably why I keep doing it...
I'm shit at social conventions and don't know when to leave, when it's appropriate to offer/ask for favours or offer/ask for payment, I don't know how many repetitions of the "polite refusal game" is reasonable and I'm certain I've offended people by doing the inappropriate thing in these situations and they have been too polite to say. Reading up about the conventions doesn't help because I don't remember and also everyone has a different opinion anyway, I think actually, there aren't rigid rules and instead, most neurotypical people are judging whether this kind of thing is appropriate by paying attention to small social cues and these are completely invisible to me, so I have no idea. Also most people apparently keep a mental tally of favours that they have received and try to pay them back at the same rate, which boggles my mind because HOW?? I have also realised that sometimes I assume something is the preferred option when it's not. E.g. I find it easier if people come to me because I find leaving the house stressful, but often people prefer not to host because they don't want to provide food or clean etc.