I've just seen this posted on Reddit and I totally relate!
As a child I was "gifted" always ahead of my peers and didn't enjoy playing with them. I would much rather talk to adults about all sorts of topics.
As an adult I just don't relate to other adults at all. I was just reading a post on here about things that bring you comfort and I just feel so alien to all the other posters.
I enjoy pastimes which are seen as childish, my clothing is seen as childish and my body language too.
Anyone relate?
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Autism feels like being an adult as a child and a child as an adult
ofwarren · 07/01/2023 23:10
knackeredcat · 10/01/2023 09:45
Oh yes. "An old soul", and "you've been here before" to me as a child, so that meant expectations well beyond my years such as I should just KNOW how to interact socially, figure people out, etc. the way I just knew how to swim and programme the video recorder (yes, I'm old). It also meant I was a sounding board for people's problems and absorbed them, especially Mum's.
Now as an adult with autism, ADHD and going through the menopause I feel like the frightened little girl I wasn't allowed to be. Yes, I may look and sound like an adult, but I'm really a vulnerable misfit child mimicking adult behaviours and almost passing as one, but at a catastrophic cost to my physical and mental health. I always feel like I'm teetering on the edge of an abyss and that I'm somehow going to be exposed. My emotional dysregulation is worse than ever now, and keeping it all in check is so exhausting.
So at the weekend I essentially live things from my childhood again. 80s music, experimenting with looks and even using things like My Little Ponies as a means of sensory seeking, etc.
knackeredcat · 12/01/2023 15:48
How many of us also relate to much of this article? www.modernintimacy.com/coping-with-emotional-incest-syndrome/ (AKA family enmeshment)
YY to so much of this, much of which I've only realised over the last few years and as the result of my ADHD and autism diagnoses 😨
Craftycorvid · 16/01/2023 08:03
@justgettingthroughtheday wishing you well.
Does anyone else now wonder if one or both parents may have been autistic or otherwise neurodivergent? I am now looking back at my relationships with my parents through the lens of possible autistic traits and mum and dad definitely make far more sense viewed from that angle! The issue then became that I, as a very ‘different’ child didn’t seem as different at home and some of my struggles were not noticed. And of course, both parents struggled with adulthood themselves.
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