"Everyone is a bit autistic"

[Catterpillarwithconverse]

...of course they aren't. But I do think some people can be a bit autistic...as in, they have some traits but not quite enough to be classed as autistic. Does anyone else think like that?

If all the traits of autism were caused by a single reason then it would be a bit more black and white as it would be a case of working out weather you have the thing that causes you to be autistic but as far as I know there isn't one cause there's many. So it's entirely possible that you just have some autistic traits. If I'm wrong in my thinking please point me in the right direction to research this.

I'm thinking about this as my brother presents typically autistic and was diagnosed around 8 years old. I've been diagnosed dyslexic as an adult which was so validating to my struggles. I definitely have some autistic traits but I'm not sure if it's enough to be classed as autistic.

My main struggle is with words. I struggle to remember/access words, I process things slowly. Even more so when I'm stressed or perceive pressure. My communication is quite blunt and to the point.

I would say I am a visual thinker but I process new visual information very slowly. Like if I go into a new shop or it takes me a while to work out where to go. This also means I'm bad at driving to new places...I still do it but it's stressful. I still use my sat nav going to places that I've been many times.

I struggle to make eye contact in a group. I struggle to talk in groups.

I struggle to start tasks.

I am emotional sensitive.

I have RSD.

Things that makes me think I'm not autistic:

I don't struggle with switching tasks.

I understand body language, can read in-between the lines. I don't have any sensory issues. I don't have meltdowns. I would say I have a "normal" level of empathy.

How old are you? I ask because Menopause can cause some significant issues (and also be the catalyst for many women finally realising they are Neurodiverse)

There are some parts of your post that ring true of ADHD symptoms. There are also things you say that may possibly be symtoms of Autism. Not having empathy is not necessarily a sign of Autism. It is largely a myth (look up double empathy)

First port of call I'd say take the AQ10 or even better, the AQ50 online. Be honest. Depending on the results, contact your GP. Also write down everything you can think of that you've struggled with since you were very young (Neurodiversity and an Autism or ADHD diagnosis must track back to very early childhood usually)

Goof luck. It's awful not knowing why you feel the way you do without an 'explanation' in my view.

I was diagnosed with Autism with Attentive Disorder tendencies at a late stage in life and it had really helped. It's also helped my DD and obtained her much earlier diagnosis and understanding / support.

Also..family history is a part of the diagnosis. As are co comorbidities like Dyslexia (I have Dyspraxia)

Thanks for your reply.

I've done so so many online tests and they all result in the same: ever so slightly within the autism category. I spoke to my GP about it just over a year ago. I've heard nothing since.

If you ignore 'traits' and look at the diagnostic criteria it might help?

Problems with words and language is more likely to be DLD -developmental language disorder. Also can have slow processing as language impacted. There are also aspects of difficulties with social communication associated with it. It doesn’t sound like you meet the dsm v for asd but hard to say from a paragraph on the internet!

This!

I struggle massively with inertia. I know what I want to do but just find it so hard to start it.
Because of that I love structure. I like to plan and get upset if plans are changed even if the change if plan is not a bad one. But when I say get upset I don't mean have a meltdown I mean I get teary.

I'm often told I look miserable when I'm fine.

I struggle to make eye contact in a group. I struggle to smoke eye contact with new people or in a busy place.

My natural form of communication is very direct and blunt. I have to be intentional soften it not come across rude.

I take a long time to learn new things.

I hate writing.

For what it's worth, there is only one cause of autism - and it can only be picked up (at the moment) via brain scans; either you're autistic, or you aren't. Obviously, that's not particularly economical since there are only a handful of places in the world which can diagnose that way and it's hella expensive, so we're stuck with clinical assessment based on behavioural traits and self-reporting (ie "guessing with experience").

Therefore, it's not possible for someone to be "a bit autistic" - it is, however, possible for them to "behave a bit like someone who's autistic", which is enough to fool a lay-person into considering them autistic, but (hopefully) not a professional diagnostician. I always try to make the distinction, because it's hugely important.

Of course...the coping strategies that we autistic folk employ to deal with the world...if they weren't necessary, wouldn't it improve the lives of ND folk too? I mean...wouldn't it be nicer for everybody if shop lights weren't set at "burn your retinas with blue-white light" levels? And maybe if everything was just a bit quieter, with fewer intrusive interruptions? A bit more forgiving of timekeeping? More sensitive to when people are having a bad day and aren't feeling up to it? And maybe if folk were given time to think before an answer is expected?

I know, I know...I'm an optimist...

I think similar OP. DS on the pathway for ASD/ADHD, think he also likely has DCD. DH probably almost certainly inattentive ADHD. FIL is guaranteed to be ND. Several of my own family members too.

I’m fairly certain I’m neurodivergent. I don’t think I would qualify for an ASD diagnosis and maybe not for ADHD, but I have traits of both.

@xyhere i had no idea about the brain scan, thats
fascinating!

@freespirit333 - yes, last time I checked on the research, they'd used brain scans to prove that the old theories - that autism was caused by a deficit in neural connections - was not only wrong, it was the opposite of the actual cause. They essentially showed that neurodivergent brains have an excess of neural connections relative to their neurotypical counterparts.

Which, if you think about it, is kind of obvious from the sensory excess that many ND folk experience.

@xyhere there is only one cause of autism - and it can only be picked up (at the moment) via brain scans; either you're autistic, or you aren't.
Where did you find that out? I'd love to read more about that. I find it so hard to believe.

@freespirit333 yeah my brother is defo autistic. And both my parents and other brother I would say are a bit autistic.

There are so many classic autistic traits that I don't have which I know on their own doesn't mean I don't have it but when I think about them altogether I think can I even claim that I am autistic.

I don't have meltdowns
I don't have sensory issues
I don't struggle with reading body language or social ques

I do struggle with eye contact but not one to one with people I'm comfortable with.

I am very emotional, it's normal for me to cry almost daily. (Maybe this is my form of a meltdown, I'm not sure) I cry when I'm happy, sad, overwhelmed.

I need structure and routine otherwise its very difficult for me to be productive.

I don't like new clothes
I don't like new places the first time I go to them
I don't like the start of any new book
I don't like attention on me, I'm very good at blending into the background and not being noticed.

It takes me a long time to be myself around people.

I absolutely intentionally mask otherwise I would make no friends as I feel painfully awkward when meeting new people so I have to fake it.
I have a resting bitch face so intentionally have to put on an approachable face.

If I'm not expecting social interaction and someone talks to me I am like a rabbit in the headlights. I find that so embarrassing because I love meeting new people but obviously this feature makes me come across like a weirdo.

Sometimes I struggle with remembering certain things especially if I know there's a pressure/expectation to know them. For example if someone asks my kids dates of births and I haven't pre remembered them before the convo my mind goes blank. Again very embarrassing as people associate that with being a bad mother!! I would never ever forget their actual birthday but in the moment when someone is asking me with all that pressure and expectation my mind struggles to work. Is there a name for that?

@Catterpillarwithconverse - why do you find it so hard to believe? Remember, the "autism spectrum" is not a linear scale, with "normal" at one end and "Rain Man" at the other. It's more like the colour wheel you'd see in Photoshop or similar, with each colour representing a trait or function.

When you say that your parents and sibling are "a bit autistic", do you mean that you see some obviously-autistic traits in them? If they're all undiagnosed adults, then the complication is that they'll have learned to mask so heavily that you wouldn't be able to see. My family on my mother's side, for example, have a long history of autism going back at least five generations (they called it "the family problem"), but the knowledge of masking heavily has been passed down as a motherly tradition for longer than anyone can remember, because several were institutionalised and...not treated well, shall we say.

And then there's the weird side-effect that NT people raised by ND parents will exhibit some traits even though they aren't ND themselves...my daughter falls into that category. She's not biologically related to me (I arrived when she was four, but I'm the only father she's ever known), but she can pass for autistic or NT depending on the day. It's been established that she's definitely NT, though.

It's a source of amusement in the family that, while the whole family has been focused on teaching their children to blend in with the NT world, I inadvertently did the opposite and ended up teaching my daughter how to be autistic :D

I'm afraid I don't recall the exact research paper it was in, but it was somewhat mind-blowing when I read about the detail they went into. I believe it was a relatively small-scale study (30-odd autistic adults and children, plus controls - and it turned out that some of the control group were undiagnosed autistic!).

why do you find it so hard to believe? Remember, the "autism spectrum" is not a linear scale, with "normal" at one end and "Rain Man" at the other. It's more like the colour wheel you'd see in Photoshop or similar, with each colour representing a trait or function.

That's exactly when I find it so hard to believe because it son a spectrum so how could one thing cause so many variations

So...on the basis that it's the synaptic excess that's the root cause of autism...the presentation - ie the collection of traits - depends on exactly where in the brain that excess is concentrated. Language centres, auditory cortex, visual cortex, frontal lobe, motor control etc.

Thanks for that! Off I go to read up on synaptic excess

Personally I don’t agree with you have another ND diagnosis then there is overlap. Lots of conditions are overlapping like a Venn diagram. I am dyspraxic and my son is autistic. There are a few areas of cross over but I am not autistic.

As others have said, it's not possible to be "a little bit" autistic. It's a binary - you are or you aren't. I recently corrected a colleague who said "I think we all are, in our own way". It's pretty offensive and dismissive. You also don't have to be a perfect Sheldon Cooper clone to be autistic, you just need to satisfy the criteria of the DSM-V going back to childhood. If you have some autistic-type traits but don't meet the criteria for diagnosis, then you're not autistic and they are likely caused by anxiety, OCD, cPTSD or a personality disorder, all of which are manageable.

Again, a PP has already pointed this out but many people confuse "spectrum" with "sliding scale", which it's not. Not everyone will have the exact same difficulties; many things have one root cause but different presentations. Women also tend to present differently from men, especially as they are socialised to mask from a much younger age.

I say this kindly, OP, but you finding it hard to believe doesn't make it any less true. Many ND conditions are commonly co-morbid but they are distinct from each other - there isn't as much overlap in traits as people on social media would have you believe.

Great post @amusedbush

I really loathe the sentiment 'we're all a little bit autistic'. It's one of the most dismissive, minimising, ignorant and offensive comments I've been on the receiving end of.

@freespirit333

My autism was picked up by a consultant neuro-surgeon via a brain scan which then prompted a referral for assessment.