Want to improve my social skills

[PinkBuffalo]

Hi everyone
so I am autism and dyspraxia (even though I not feel like it I feel the same as everyone else)
But today really got me down ☹️
Gym classes this morning and everyone before the music starts and we get going are all chatting and talking to eachother. I know everyone but I not know how to join the conversation and cos it noisy I have to have my ear defenders (headphones I call them) on
I get stressed today cos it take long time for class to start and everyone talking and chatting but no one talk to me and I not know how to join in without interrupting. So I ended up just pacing up and down flapping my hands waiting for class to start

after the class again everyone chatting I no idea about what. I see 2 ladies after and try to start conversation “did you enjoy it today?” All I get back is “it was alright”

I guessing this is me cos no one else seems to have a problem chatting considering how noisy it was

has anyone got any ideas of where I can go or what I can do to help myself here? It is my happy place but I was so tearful 😢 leaving today I hate that feeling that no one actually likes you and everyone just pretending ☹️
I asked the instructor this evening what did I do wrong but he just say nothing and everyone still love me but it not feel like that

I find that when I visibly do things that most people don’t do, it makes people judge me and avoid me. So for example, pacing up and down flapping your hands will make people think “weirdo, there’s something not right with this person, avoid”. And then they will avoid speaking to you and will try to politely disengage if you approach. That’s why we mask - to appear normal, so people don’t automatically label us as “to be avoided”.

i did try some social stuff - there isn’t things I can find for adults. only diagnosed adult and wish there was for those who do want to try it.

One thing they did say was that you may need a few tries to get into a conversation. We don’t notice that Nt people have false starts because it seems so easy for them to try again a few minutes later when we have built ourselves up to that one try.
In that sense just that little exchange was very successful. 👍

I meant social skills therapy but just a normal counsellor not a specialist.

Thanks guys
things got bit better after that. On Friday one of them tell me he was my best friend which I did get bit confused by (I am very easily confused sometimes and sometimes have trouble working out friends) but I happy cos I have never had a best friend before and he did like his xmas present 👍
That is interesting about the social skills counselling I maybe contact the local autistic society and see what they suggest in the new year
I was diagnosed very young. I am now mid to late 30s but still very young sometimes cos I need a lot of help sometimes and not having a family is hard but I very lucky I have lots of good friends who care about me at work and gym and we all help eachother when needed

I do try not to behave oddly but it just comes out. Half the time I not even realise I do it. And if I just sit still in the corner everyone gets worried 😂 cos that definitely not me. Last time I did that the instructor brought my pec visual cards over asking what the problem was and I was just like oh I no problems I just waiting for someone but it nice they care

I have never really been able to mask like people do on here. I am one of the people that people know I am autistic or “something wrong” without me telling them which seems weird to me

But I been going gym over xmas with couple of friends and I hoping people with love me again after they have had a break over xmas and new year and they have all had a rest. Everyone liked the sweets I give out on the last gym class on Saturday

thank you for trying to help both of you