This time of year

[BrightWater]

I'd anyone else finding this time of year incredibly difficult? Too cold outside, too hot inside. A calendar full of Important Things To Do that involve lots of people & noise. Last minute changes and additions to plans. All the usual routines out of the window. Over tired children. Expectations everywhere. Extreme amounts of small talk. Competitive social media posting by people you know have a very different life to that on screen but the disparity gets worse at Christmas. Missing loved ones (we lost 3 family members this year) but no space to grieve. No space for anything. Argh.

There is also an undercurrent of things that don't seem big, but add to a disturbing level.... shop aisle crowded with temporary displays, things moved, too much choice, visual noise, literal noise with incessant repeated music, people dressed in different clothing because it's "humorous"

Yes. Constant pressure to eat and drink things I don't want to, even more pressure than usual to appear cheerful so as not to upset festive sensibilities. Their Christmassy feelings are not my responsibility!

This time of year is incredibly difficult for me, for all the reasons you mentioned. Too many events, too many people, too much noise. Long queues in supermarkets when I need to be in and out quickly. Having to go to shops I wouldn’t normally go to. Temporary displays and everything is moved around. People come to my house and I have to go to their houses. Having to organise things and remember things. It’s a nightmare.

Things that help: Ear defenders. Tinted glasses. Shopping online. Alarms and reminders and lists on the phone. And schedule some time when you can be left alone.

One positive for me is that I am on maternity leave so I am "missing out" on the enforced workplace cheer, excess socialising and general increased volume of humans at Christmas.

Cannot catch my rhythm - just feel constantly jarred and out of sync.

Yes, I feel even more out of step with the world at this time of year. It's hard enough figuring out the rules in normal times and, just when I think I've got a handle on it, Christmas explodes onto the scene with all of its extra steps & rules. I can usually manage the day itself, but the hoopla for weeks beforehand is too much for me.

II like being out in the cold weather if it wasn't for the many layers needed to stay warm! Bra must come off if another layer needed or all hell will break loose! Too windy, omg wind and hair on face. Can't wear a hat too sweaty and itchy, can't wear scarf because same. Polo necks can f"ck right off. People's faces looking angry and getting too close to me in shops because it's so busy. Long queues when I too like to be in and out quickly. The looming ever possible threat of the uninvited 'guest' popping over. Actual guests coming over. Making sure there's enough food for them and that tge gouse is spotless when I don't feel lile doing deep clean at that point. Having to eat different enforced Xmas food when I don't want to. Drinking more than I really want to. Annoyimg music and films and enforced fake happiness. Having to be happy when I don't know what mood I'm in to start the day and getting anxious about ruining it for others if I storm off and cry. When there's no pressure and less (no) guests I'm fine.