Dating advice for my son

[Angelabdc]

My son is 21. He is a handsome guy in the final year of his degree course, but he has never had any type of relationship. He tells me he is lonely, he knows some girls (he's definitely hetro) but they are all in relationships - or the times he's gotten close to asking someone out he's stopped himself- because he's worried it will go wrong. He has high functioning autism and is a sensitive person, maybe a bit obsessed with gaming- but lots of boys his age are too. I want to help him, but it's a bit odd getting your Mum to help with dating advice. Does anyone have ideas of practical advice that might be useful to pass on?

Find a nice autistic girl.

(based on dd and boyfriend)

Seriously though, he needs to just be himself, and learn to be content in himself and who he is. (Yeah, yeah, easier typed than done, still working on that one myself!)

And be brave. Talk to them about ordinary stuff. Maybe suggest coffee in a cafe or studying together in the library.

Seconding getting a similarly Autistic partner.

I had strings of failed or purposefully short term (my choice) relationships with NT's ending up blaming things on my Autistic traits, such as eating habits, misunderstanding their completely unclear communication, being "too blunt" with my words, "too loud" "too quiet" "too intense" "too absent" etc

Now I have been with my Autistic husband for over 13 years and we get along SO well, we understand each others need for alone time, commiserate together on difficult days, enthuse and enjoy each others special interests, we don't miscommunicate, we speak in the same way.

He needs to get out and socialise with people who have similar interests. Maybe a gaming club, or preferably a tabletop gaming club where people meet in person. Or any other hobby related to his interests, you haven’t said what he does other than gaming.

This year back at Uni he has joined a couple of societies including a Board Game one in the hope he would meet new people. I think that's why he's so disheartened, nothing has happened and I think that's possibly due to his natural reserve, and not knowing how to initiate social contact- he could never flirt and he's not the most fluent conversationalist. He is content with himself to an extent, but he also desperately wants to connect with someone which breaks my heart to see.