Your tips on managing ADHD

[EmmaAgain22]

Hi all
not officially diagnosed but possible ADHD....possible.

I have read up a lot and found no useful info.

I am trying to read the Russell Barkeley book - just the sample - and it still feels very technical.

I don't want to try the medication route so I just wondered what your best tips were. It used to be that I managed work fine but that is slipping badly.

I don't like tech and I forget what systems i have put in place. I think tech use - compulsory for work - is actually making my brain worse as I get frazzled using it.

I now have to shuttle between here and mum's for her care, so I think a big notebook will help but then I get in a tizz over what kind. Everything feels mad!

Hopeful bump

Lots of people with ADHD recommend a bullet journal. It doesn't need to be fancy, can just be functional. I mean decorate if you want, but don't feel stressed/overwhelmed if you can't.

I bought this one which is lovely. www.amazon.co.uk/Notebook-Journal-Stencils-Ottergami-Speckled/dp/B07Y7KM9L9/ref=asc_df_B07Y7KM9L9/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=394281194638&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=827490851055077188&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9046682&hvtargid=pla-859673755589&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=87484068448&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=394281194638&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=827490851055077188&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9046682&hvtargid=pla-859673755589

Thanks Fiadh

do you find you remember to put stuff in?

I've inly just started it. So far so good. I like the idea of just one book for everything. Rather than a different one for each hobby or whatever. Nightmare. But I've read a couple of articles about bullet journals and adhd. It seems some people do find it very helpful.

It's a minefield op, how to ADHD on YouTube has a lot of good tips and tricks and is also research based. Bullet journals didn't work for me, as I'm more visual so I have a day planner pad and a notice board with a meal plan/week plan on it. I don't use is every day, just when I know I have appointments or stuff to do which is out of my normal routine.

Clear containers in the kitchen so I know when I need to shop and prepping/washing fruit and veg before putting them away.

I was also told my my psychiatrist to practice good sleep hygiene (no phones after 8pm, reading a book before bed, relaxing bath etc. make your bedroom a nice place to relax).

I've also changed my wardrobe, so I have some open shelving in my wardrobe instead of draws now so I don't forget about t-shirts piled at the bottom.

Thanks puddleduck

I can never sit through those videos.

I have my noticeboard at home but as I get older, I'm literally forgetting to put stuff on it.

also, I will be at mum's a lot, and managing all her stuff as well as my own.

I will start with a simple notebook to use as a bullet journal.

i think I might have to accept that certain "personal achievement" stuff just might not be possible in this stage of my life.

The videos are made for ADHD, so short and sweet. I also speed up YouTube videos and skip intros

Hi, I have alarms for everything on my phone and if someone asks me to do something later on then I’ll add an alarm. I have a special to-do notepad which is left open at the page I’m working on and in my view (otherwise I won’t think about it). I have virtual post it’s on my Home Screen of my laptop. I also use a very childish but fun app which I get ‘points’ for doing certain things each day/week. E.g. I have it set for drink water and brush teeth twice a day, talk with my family daily and things like ‘do a load of laundry’ on certain days.

Can you listen to podcasts or audio books? They’re my main source of information and tips, and I find it much easier to power through boring, non verbal tasks if I’m listening to something at double speed as my brain is distracted.

For writing tasks, or anything that requires concentration, chewing helps - crunchy things like nuts, carrots, celery or popcorn; or chewing gum.

I have modified the bullet journal concept (which really is the point). I need a full year planner but I draw it out to eliminate the spaces at the beginning and end of months so I can visualise time better. And I create a week spread at a time. I’ve evolved to having a Sunday ritual where I sit down and fill in my coming week and I have a postcard with about 15 steps for this. I didn’t know why diaries/calendars etc didn’t work for me in the past but I was missing steps in the process that I guess other people don’t need spelled out for them (or maybe/probably they hold more info in memory)

I’ve recently learned that motivation is a different animal than task initiation and that I need to make doing anything in my life as easy to start as possible.

Happy to share more but it might help if you let us know specifically what you struggle with.

Barkley is quite negative to be starting with.

My phone is my friend. I use the notes app constantly - as soon as I think of something, I write it down. Always.

If there's anything tied to a specific time, straight into my phone calendar it goes. Colour co-ordinated and with alarms. I check my phone calendar multiple times a day. It makes me feel much calmer and more in control to do so as well, which improves everything.

If I had to use a separate notebook I doubt I'd ever use it. My phone is always on me, meaning it removes the additional step of going into the next room to pick it up or use it (as would be likely with a notebook or a whiteboard on the fridge etc. instead) - it's the additional step of "having to do something in order to do a second thing" that feels paralysing and impossible most of the time, so using a phone for everything prevents that from happening. It requires almost zero executive function to literally just pick up my phone and type something the first second I think of something.

So, remove as many steps as possible to enable you to do something.

And, delaying things is fatal. It becomes A Thing, which makes me anxious, but produces no dopamine, so it feels impossible to then begin. Terrible for stress levels and self esteem. Always, always try to do things straight away.

Laundry and things I just do little and often so it never feels overwhelming. I loathe hanging up clothes after they've washed, so if I do a huge load at once, I'm much more likely to never get round to taking it out and hanging it up and end up having to re-wash it, and then feel crap about it. Little and often prevents this. Same with other tasks.

I can't help with the tech use and having to comprehend manuals and things like that - my ADHD affects me most strongly in my inability to do any kind of structured learning. My brain absolutely shuts down now at the merest hint of having to comprehend something that isn't dopamine producing. Very frustrating and limiting. That's been worsened by being in a verrryyy long period of burnout though.

Hi @Andsoforth , I'm really interested to learn more about your process of filling I your calender/diary. This is somthing i have never been able to manage! What is your 15 step process, if your are willing to share?

Hello @notyourmam , can you share more about your colour coding? I have tried this and decided on categories for: household tasks, errands outside the house, tasks requiring research/decision making, correspondence with other people. But maybe this is overcomplicating things. I'm curious about what categories and colour coding you use?

Thanks everyone who posted replies, these have been really helpful ideas!

@SweetpeaTeaParty whatever works for you! Looking at my calendar now I have seven different colours on the go for different things. Appointments being in bright red makes them stick out immediately. Stuff that is a general, wishy washy reminder is in a pale colour. I don't use precise categories for everything though - I have bright purple for both grocery deliveries and friends' birthdays for some reason. It just seems an appropriate level of eye catching!

I like using plenty of different colours just because it makes everything nice and distinct when looking at it, and my brain can easily rifle through everything and categorise/prioritise what it's seeing, which requires less processing power whenever I look at it.

I have bright purple for both grocery deliveries and friends' birthdays for some reason. It just seems an appropriate level of eye catching!

Thanks @notyourmam, for sharing your examples and explaining it. This level of detail has really helped me understand something important - that I can find what makes most sense to me. And actually using pale VS dark, I'm not sure I would have thought of that, even though it is such a useful way to do it. so I'm going to use that. Thanks!

I agree with How To ADHD. Bite sized tips usually under 10 minutes long.

If you read, there's a book called "So I'm not lazy, stupid or crazy?!" something like that. It's nowhere near as technical as Barkley's book and is a great starting point to learn about ADHD and some starter coping mechanisms.

I've just found in general accepting how my brain is, rather than trying to force it to be different, working with what the reality of what I do is, rather than trying to do things in the way everyone does it because that's how it "should" be done.

If you just try to shame yourself into things "JUST DO IT!" it doesn't work AND it makes it painful to look at because it feels like failure heaped on failure, so you'll never figure out what goes wrong. Accept you are already doing your best. Find out what's getting in the way. For example, one early tip that I made up myself: My living room was always strewn with rubbish and clothing. So I put a laundry basket and a wastepaper bin in every room. This was because I knew that I would not stand up and take the clothing/rubbish to the correct room with the correct bin in it. By having a receptacle in the room to use, I didn't have to, and therefore I used it. OK, sure, most people would just put it in the proper bin, so I could have wasted time and energy feeling like a "total slob" and "who is so lazy that they have a bin in every room?" but at least it was contained and then I just had to make ONE trip to the real bin when I was cleaning up, rather than 1000 trips all day.

I cannot listen to podcasts/audio books because my brain wanders, except for when I have my hands and eyes occupied on some mindless task that I do not need to think about. So I use this as a circular thing - I clean, or sort washing, or sometimes exercise (run/walk) while listening to a podcast. This activity means I can focus on the podcast, so I can't cheat myself out of the reward by saying well I'll just listen and not do the boring thing. At the same time, it motivates me to do those boring things, because I really want to listen to the next episode.

There are video lectures by Russell Barkley on youtube which make great audio for this, or when he's a guest on a podcast. ADHD Essentials is also a great ADHD themed podcast. Or just pick a fun one - Freakonomics Radio, Stuff You Should Know, But Why, No Such Thing as a Fish.