Overwhelmed with everything

[AutisticLegoLover]

My house mainly. It's a townhouse and I can't get to grips with sorting it and tidying it. I've been listing things on vinted to sell and have sold a fair few things but it's a drop in the ocean. I don't drive so I can't take things to the tip or charity shop if they are big things. I'm exhausted trying to keep chipping away at it along with doing everything needed for 2dc and being a carer for my mum. Ds and I have been ill half the autumn which hasn't helped and we are just recovering from another bug. It's as much as I can do to get through the washing done days and there's been lots of it with the sickness bug. I've had to wash duvets and pillows and towels and then it's difficult to get them dry.
Christmas presents are thankfully all bought. The Christmas tree is being delivered later in the week and will be decorated next weekend. Dd has a birthday soon and her presents are bought and just need wrapping.
There's stuff everywhere and I want to hire a big skip and put most of the house in it.
I'm at the point of meltdown because I'm so tired and overwhelmed with it all.

I'm feeling better tonight. I have a to do list for tomorrow so that's a start. I am ập going to write a list of jobs that need doing before dd's birthday in less than 2 weeks. A tidy house is like Valium to me but I have too much fucking stuff! I like my stuff but it needs organising and storing properly unless it's designed to be in regular use.

The neighbour's cat is asleep on my bed and he's helping my sense of calm.

You are doing really well. So much more organised than me. Deep slow breathes and do the worst/most annoying/most urgent bit first.

I think you need to lower your expectations as you sound like you are doing a lot.

Yes it's good to write your lists of stuff to do. But maybe you could also list the stuff you have done and how it's benefited you so that you can enjoy your achievements. You are doing really well.

This time of year is so hard.

there are lots of small additional trying things going on even in the background that make life harder, stuff has moved in the supermarkets, aisles are crowded with seasonal displays, more music on incessant repeat everywhere, things are more visually crowded everywhere, schools have demands for payments, snacks, non-uniform, productions.... it just goes on and on!

It's hardly surprising our limits are being tested.

Thank you for your replies. I think of lot of it is hormonal as I feel much better now. The tree is up and decorated and so is my mum's and they both look beautiful. I'm baking dd's birthday cake and have wrapped some birthday and Christmas presents today.
Ds decided he did want to go to the school Christmas fair and that was far too busy and noisy and crowded and some people have fog horns for voices so after 45 minutes I was right we are going now. He didn't argue.
I feel sorry for Dd because she's going out for a meal with her dad's side and there are LOTS of children and she doesn't like much on the menu and there's the expectation around gifts and being happy and grateful. She's asked for a home cooked meal with me, her brother and her grandmother/my mum on her actual birthday.
I made a rod for my own back the year she was born by vowing to always make the dc's birthday cakes. Her dad and I were to take it in turns. He made one for the eldest but has made fuck all for dd2. Not helped that he fucked of when she was 3. I think I might feel a bit angry that I get to do everything and make all the effort. He rocks up and takes her for a meal and puts little thought into anything. In fact his ex organised tonight 🙄 But I get a lot of satisfaction from seeing the end product of a happy Dd and a lovely cake that's made with love. Luckily baking is my thing but I can get very flustered if on a tight schedule!thank you for listening to me whinge!

What cake are your making for the birthday?

I always make my daughters cakes, and they always remember them with great fondness, even if I think they are not good enough they think they are amazing. It's well worth it. My next plan is to work out how to make a Squig cake, it's a creature from tabletop gaming!

For a while I printed off some to-do lists with all the things I have to do anyway on them, just to focus my mind on how much I was doing, and to try and understand where my time went.

These days I brain dump a huge “not going to get around to all this” list and just reading that title cheers me up because it’s true and I have damagingly high expectations of what’s actually possible.

just a thought; could you ring around some charities and see if there are any who could come and pick up a few bags off you?

I've done the cake. I've forgotten to do any lists but never mind I think I'm finally winning 😁 I'm really please with the cake and I hope Dd will be too. It's always worth the effort to make the dc happy. Her dad hasn't even managed to get her the one thing she asked him for weeks ago because he didn't bother to book it in time. He's such a dick but at least he's consistent in his wankerism.
For the time being I'm sticking things in the loft and out of sight 😁