Aspergers vs Autism Diagnosis

[NopeNopeNopeNo]

I was recently diagnosed as being on the spectrum, with what used to be known as Aspergers.

However, as the term Aspergers is no longer used, I’m having trouble finding resources that are suitable for me.

The term autism just seems too wide, including people who have severe learning difficulties and people like me who qualify for Mensa.

I feel like if I was to turn up to an event or enrol in a course that I would feel like I don’t belong and would likely find some of the others stressful to be around.

Being a late diagnosis doesn’t help either as I’ve learned to become self conscious of the things that make me “weird” and tone them down when needed. No one else recognised the symptoms but me.

Am I missing something? I didn’t get any support from my doctor (private diagnosis) and all my education on the subject comes from googling.

It is difficult to find resources for late-diagnosed adults. So much is aimed at younger people. Have you looked at the National Autistic Society for anything in your area? I agree the spectrum of needs is very wide. If you are late diagnosed, masking is second-nature and it can be difficult to relax and unmask in company as you get used to your autistic behaviours as things you do in private.

I too would be interested in any recommendations.

I have a (slightly paranoid?) suspicion that there are so few resources for late diagnoses adults because we are seen as "having got this far, they'll be fine!!"

I was offered a Zoom session, thats all, after my diagnosis. After telling them I hated Zoom so much, had walked out of conversations with my in-laws as I couldn't do it!

What are you actually wanting help with?

I was told that there's no resources or help for me because I should have adapted by now. I wouldn't have got a diagnosis if I was coping.

I was diagnosed a year ago and I can't believe how much I have discovered about myself in that time. I have stopped masking every minute of the day and I am much more outwardly autistic with higher support needs than I realised.

The term Aspergers has been dropped for several (good) reasons and I'm also personally relieved to see that functioning labels are leaving people's vocabulary. I mean this in the kindest way but you describe autism as more of a sliding scale rather the spectrum it is, where people present in a million different ways and have spiky profiles of differing strengths and support needs. You also mention people with learning disabilities - their support needs are increased due to those co-morbid disabilities, which doesn't diminish your autism or make you any less autistic.

From what you've written, I think you need to focus first on internal reflection. Recognise what you do/don't do, what you like/dislike, what you need to live your best life. Maybe start with what led you to pursuing a diagnosis. Forget other people's presentations of autism and get comfortable with your diagnosis.

You're not missing anything, there really isn't anything much out there. I also have a diagnosis of Asperger's and still use the term when I have to disclose. In my case that's because I'm a stickler for facts and since that's the diagnosis that's what I say.

If you're in employment then Access to Work might be useful. I've recently found out that they have coaching available and I've applied for this to help with that self-consciousness around traits when I'm at work. The colleague who recommended this found it very helpful so I'm fingers crossed it'll be approved.

Honestly when you’re older the main reason a diagnosis is useful is because you can use it as a stick to beat people with when they discriminate against you. I can’t count how many times I’ve been discriminated against for my autistic traits. Now I have some recourse and can sue people who discriminate against me. The mere threat of this is often enough to make them start treating me appropriately.

Tony Atwood is good on Aspergers in females. He was one of the first to give us recognition and challenge male oriented diagnostic criteria. I rate him as he was one of the first experts on female presentations of aspergers that made me feel sane in my assessment that my particular deficits and strengths were AN ACTUAL THING.